Probably My Least Favorite Sermon of All Time

I play in our church’s worship band as often as my schedule allows. Our only weekly rehearsal starts at 7:00 a.m. Sundays, just over two hours before the first service, so it means rising early the weeks I play.

As I was getting ready one morning about a year ago, I tuned the small TV in our bathroom to a popular TV preacher and heard part of a sermon that I would characterize as maybe my least favorite of all time. He was wrapping up by admonishing his congregation to live out their faith in some very specific ways. Here is my recollection of his comments:

• “Every Christian should be reading their Bible every day.”

• “If you’re not regularly talking about Jesus, I have to wonder how much you really love him.” “Parents, it’s great that you bring your kids to church, but that’s not enough. When you get home, you should discuss the sermon over Sunday dinner to help them see how to apply it in their lives.”

• “I wouldn’t even thing about putting my kids to bed without praying a prayer like this over them.” And he outlined a lofty prayer that covered all the key aspects of their lives.

I WANT TO BE 100% CLEAR! These are all admirable actions and should be encouraged. Who can argue with any of them? My problem was with the tone of his message and the fact that his sermons typically end with similar admonitions.

I’m definitely not Jesus’ most faithful disciple by any stretch, but I do my honest best to walk with him and honor him every day. So, how do I fare with this minister’s checklist?

• Read my Bible every day? Well, I’m probably three or four times a week – So, I guess I’m guilty.

• Talk about Jesus? – I do pretty well here, but I certainly miss opportunities – This one is probably OK.

• Process the sermon with the kids?  – They’re both grown now, but when they were young, we were spotty at best about doing this – So, not so much.

• Praying a galaxy-scraping prayer over the kids every night at bedtime? – Can’t check that box either.

So, I guess my score is:

• Guilty

• Decent

• Guilty

• Guilty

All that in just 10 minutes. Wow! I can’t wait to tune in next week so I can get beaten up again.

Again, I take no issue with these instructions. They are all important. And there is clearly a role for periodically highlighting God’s standards and reminding us where we fall short. But is it healthy to get a steady diet of messages teaching that God is probably highly disappointed in me and that I need to get much more serious about my relationship with him?

I have known many people who were raised in this type of legalistic environment, and the impact of the constant haranguing can be (at best) discouraging or (at worst) highly destructive.  Many people who grew up being constantly scolded like this believe God has an ugly scowl on his face whenever he thinks about them. And many others, convinced that they will never be good enough, simply walk away from the faith altogether.

Isn’t this type of performance-based message the very thing that irked Jesus about the Pharisees? Although he certainly never compromised on God’s standards, he focused on God’s love and grace. Doesn’t his emphasis explain why, although the religious establishment despised him, the prostitutes, tax collectors and other outcasts flocked to him?

Does God care about my behavior? Of course! Should I be striving to better reflect his character more completely and live a more holy life? Of course! But why am I doing it? Is it to earn God’s favor so he won’t punish me for my shortcomings, or is it to reflect my gratitude for what he’s already done and continues to do in my life? And isn’t a focus on God’s grace far more attractive to outsiders than a message of “do’s and don’ts”?

2 Awesome Prayer Practices

Although we can never fully understand all the facets of prayer, we can and should continue to make prayer a vital part of our lives. This week, I’d like to offer two creative ideas I hope will enrich your prayer life.

Pray Alphabetically

Although I used to sleep very soundly for most of my life, in recent years I’ve developed the unfortunate habit of waking up about 3:00 – 4:00 a.m. and not being able to get back to sleep. Once my brain “kicks in,” I know it’s all over. Mind you, I seldom worry. Instead, I think – sometimes excitedly – about what the new day holds. Regardless of my mental state, the result is the same:  I’m awake.

Several years ago, I read about a lady who addressed her middle-of-the-night sleeplessness by praying for people based on their names, i.e., starting with someone whose first or last name begins with the letter “A,” them moving on to a “B” person, then a “C” person, and so on. I adopted this habit bout a year ago.

Beyond praying for current friends, I’m amazed how God brings people to mind who I may not have thought of for years. Because I’m trying to keep my brain in neutral as long as possible so I can get back to sleep, I don’t linger very long on any name. Somehow this practice is so soothing, that I sometimes only make it halfway through the alphabet before returning to dreamland.

Unfortunately for “J” people, I know dozens of Jasons, Jacobs, Jims, Justins. Joes, Jeremys, etc. so they don’t get much “airtime.” At the other extreme, I know only one person with an “X” name:  Ramona Xiques, a girl from high school I took on one date. So, she shows up almost every time, assuming I stay awake long enough.

Break Your Prayer Requests Down

We all have a handful of very close people we regularly pray for, often every day. Everyone has layered, complex needs. When praying for these very special people, I often find myself either praying very general, high-level prayers or racing through a whole list of requests without much real engagement. If you do the same, try this instead.

Set up a multi-day “rotation” where you pray specifically for a different aspect of their lives each day. For example:

·       Day 1 – Pray for their spiritual life and walk with Jesus

·       Day 2 – Pray for their relationships

·       Day 3 – Pray for any of their current challenges, opportunities or struggles you know of

·       Day 4 – Pray for other life circumstance needs:  work, health, finances, etc.

Of course, on any day you can pray beyond the particular category, and these are just suggested groupings. You might want to include fewer or more days or develop different categories. Be creative in how you structure your prayers for these dear friends and family members.

These practices are certainly not “magic,” but they might expand your desire to pray for others. Let me know what you think.

Special Edition: Your Responses on the Dynamics of Prayer

My last blog post invited you to comment on various aspects of prayer, specifically:

·       The relationship between praying without ceasing and falling into empty repetition

·       The “quantity” of prayer

·       The specificity of prayer

·       The intensity with which we pray

That post generated lots of response with many wonderful insights. Submissions came in as comments on my web page and through various social media platforms. Thanks to all who contributed your ideas!

Instead if creating a new blog post with my own thoughts this week, I would rather spotlight your inspiring insights. You will be blessed if you take the time to read through them.

Two themes that several mentioned were:

• Rather than being just “a thing,” we should view prayer as part of our relationship with God, something we live out.

• We shouldn’t forget that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us, advocating and “correcting” our prayers as necessary.

Hard to argue with either of these ideas!

Scroll down to my last my post, dated August 6 and click on the  “comments” button at the bottom of my August 6 post.  

And I have reproduced immediately below some excerpts from social media submissions. Keep reading.

Does God hear the long agonizing prayer of lament and distress more than the simple daily prayers uttered in my life? Do numbers and words really make a difference? I don’t know how it all works but I think persevering in prayer matters. Often I just wonder does it really matter….yet I find myself praying sometimes without even thinking….it’s like breathing. We can’t live without it.

Jennifer Williams

These years with (my daughter) Heidi’s cancer, bone marrow transplant and soon-to-be kidney transplant have had me in “ceaseless prayer” for her. Then there are all the folks praying that I update. I honestly see prayer as more and more of a mystery…Somehow God wants us to make our requests known to Him. Yet He will work according to His plan. We can pray as a single individual and as a community, baring our hearts and souls which I believe God will hear and respond to rightly.

Twinky Satterthwaite

What about enjoying getting to know The Father better by just conversing with Him! Not asking Him for things all the time, but just talking and listening to Him. Listening to the promptings of His Spirit.

Sonny Lallerstedt

There are 4 things that seem to characterize my Intense Prayers.

1.  Shorter the better

2.  Said out loud 

3.  Conversational

4.  Alone

The HS fills in the blanks. . . . Said differently, we can’t mess up a prayer, even if it’s short in Specificity or Quantity.

Dennis Dixon

Ps. 37:4  . . . calls us to "delight" in the Lord. I know this verse is often misused, but when looked at in context, it shows that God desires our delighting in Him, not as a "get what we want" from a worldly sense, but from an eternal sense. The context shows that in spite of life's challenges, we are to want Him, and look forward to being with Him for eternity.

. . . .

Certainly empty repetition is not good, and I am often guilty of that.  I try to be specific, but don't overdo it. I am aware that God certainly knows the need for which I'm praying, so it's not like I'm trying to fill Him in on the details. But I think specificity is more for us than for Him. It causes us to think about the need, and it also allows us to see how God responds to the need.  But we can overdo it.  I think about how we pray in ways that might not be in God's perfect will. I would have been one to pray that Joseph be released from prison.  But that would have not been God's plan. Maybe better to pray that Joseph would experience God's blessing and that he persevere in faith.

. . .

I do like to think that if I get hung up about quantity, intensity, specificity, and language, I lose the most important aspects... relationship, trust, belief, dependence. It's about having a conversation with God who already knows what I and others need, but wants me to regard Him with the awe and intimacy that's involved in the most valuable relationship we have.

Steve Simpson

My prayers always have the same pattern and sometimes with different words or names and situations. I think if we get too caught up in trying to make our prayers unique, we might miss our mark on the “why” we’re talking to God in the first place.

Chris Ebert

One of my favorite lessons on prayer is Nehemiah 1 & 2 with emphasis on 2:1-6. Nehemiah prays with fervor and specificity when he learns of the condition of Jerusalem. The narrative intimates that others were also praying. And he demonstrates constancy when the king, perhaps unexpectedly, asks him to make a request. We may be sure that he did not spend ten minutes in prayer before responding. “He prayed to the Lord and answered the king” in one motion.

Jason Renier

I Need Your Help Figuring This One Out

“Why don’t we just buy a rabbit’s foot and rub it for good luck before each meal to save time?”

Annette and I had just gotten married, and we were in the process of expanding our Cru ministry support base. We were in her hometown of Adrian, Michigan in the shadows of Detroit. Unfortunately, the country was experiencing an economic downturn, and auto-dependent Southeastern Michigan was particularly hard-hit. Consequently, we suspected reaching our financial goal would be a long slog.

I had been on Cru staff for seven years, and support development was a perpetual challenge. I would always start out optimistically doing my best to trust God with the results. But as the weeks sometimes turned into months, I would get ground down, moving closer and closer toward internal despair and even low-level panic.

As a new husband, I wanted to provide strong spiritual leadership and demonstrate full trust in God. Three times a day, as we sat down to eat, one of us would ask for God’s blessing on that day’s activities and our overall support development efforts. Of course, we were sincere and serious, but before long, our prayers pretty much became “memorized” words and almost incantations. Hence Annette’s astute comment about the rabbit’s foot.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus criticizes pagans who worship other gods trying to win them over through their excess of words.

When you pray, don’t be like the people who don’t know God. They say the same things again and again. They think that if they say it enough, their god will hear them – Matthew 6:7 (ERV)

Their approach showed they were treating their prayers almost like magic spells.  Annette and I weren’t guilty of that obvious excess, but we were drifting toward “empty phrases,” to use the ESV ‘s wording from Matthew 6:7.

Here’s where I need your help. Tell me your thoughts on the balance between:

• Praying without ceasing (1 Thes. 5:17) and being relentless in prayer as Jesus urges in two parables:  the persistent widow (Luke 18:1-8) and the man who needs replenishment of his cupboard for an unexpected late-night visitor (Luke 11:5-8), and

• Falling into empty repetition and trying to manipulate God like the pagans did

About a year into my Christian life, I determined to show my devotion to God by consciously thinking about him as often as I could. If I recognized that if I hadn’t thought about him in the previous ten minutes, I stopped to seek forgiveness and vowed to do better moving forward. This practice lasted about two days before I realized that continuing in that mode would result in my being fitted for a straight jacket.

I’ve concluded there are three aspects to prayer:

• Quantity – This is how frequently I pray about a specific need and how many people I get to join with me. Of course, God hears the prayers of every single believer, and Jesus references two agreeing in prayer (Matt. 18:190). But how much “better” is 100 agreeing?

• Specificity – At one extreme are the “bless everyone in the world”-type prayers. Some people simply run through a list of names, asking God’s blessing on those individuals. At the other extreme are highly specific and detailed prayers. Stormie Omartian has written more than a dozen books on prayer spotlighting the power of a praying husband/wife/parent/grandparent/etc. These books are filled with hundreds of specific topics for prayer, covering every aspect of people’s lives: their spiritual lives, their physical health, their friendships, their work lives, etc. How much “better” is this approach? 

• Intensity – We can either casually run through our list or spend extended time – sometimes agonizing – in prayer. Is my prayer more effective if I am emotionally worked up?

How do all these dimensions work together?

Even though I am a “left brain guy,” I am not looking for a formula. We can’t reduce prayer to specific “preferred” words, particular body positions, or minimum required length. But I am I’m trying to understand prayer dynamics a little better.

I would love to hear your thoughts on how these factors interact. What are your thoughts on the questions I raise? Please weigh in, but remember, no formulas!

If God Knows and Controls Everything, Why Pray?

It’s an age-old question. If God is sovereign over absolutely everything and already knows what he is going to do, what’s the point of praying? Tough question. I have five thoughts that shed light on this.

First, as R. C. Sproul explains in his excellent short book Does Prayer Change Things? the very question reveals a limited view of what prayer is about. Asking this presumes that the only reason we pray is to get God to do things for us. But, as Sproul points out, open, two-way communication is central to any significant, successful and satisfying relationship – like that between a husband and wife or between two dear friends.

As we grow to increasingly understand God’s majesty, power and love, our hearts should overflow as we tell him how great and transcendent he is and how absolutely privileged we are to know him. Then, as we see our own sinful state which stands in stark contrast with his holiness, we should be motivated to freely admit our tragically flawed lives and thank God for the forgiveness he made possible through Jesus’ death and resurrection. 

So, prayer isn’t like Aladdin’s lamp – merely a mechanism to get your every wish fulfilled. It’s really about fostering your two-way relationship with God. And it’s only within the context of that relationship that you bring your requests forward, recognizing that you are not a magician trying to manipulate God into doing your bidding.

There is a second reason why prayer is “valid” even though God controls absolutely everything. One of the more difficult-to-grasp attributes of God is that he exists “outside of time.” We live in a linear world where one minute follows the next and events unfold in succession. God is not limited like that. For him, there is no past or present or future. Somehow, they are all simultaneous. Of course, we can’t even begin to comprehend what that means.

But we can think through at least one implication of this fact:  even though God has prior (from a human standpoint) knowledge of what he will do, it could be that his “prior” decision was actually shaped by the prayer you are praying today. So, even though God knew from the very beginning of time (as we know it) what would happen, your prayer now may have factored into his decision to shape events in your present and future. I know. This causes my brain to hurt too.

A third reason we should pray even though God controls everything is simply because there are dozens – if not hundreds – of commands to pray in the Bible. If God tells us to do it, we should. This alone should settle the issue.

Reason four is that we have abundance evidence that prayer was and is vital in the lives of the people that God uses. This is true for all the “Bible heroes” as well as faithful people throughout the ages, right down to this very day. We have hundreds of thousands of examples.

The final reason we should pray despite God’s sovereignty may be the most powerful of all. Jesus himself regularly spoke with his father. And, to recast the old saying, if it’s good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me. Case closed.

So, there you have it. Five perspectives why prayer should be a vital part of our lives despite the fact – and in reality – because of the fact – that God controls everything. Who wouldn’t want to take advantage of the unspeakable privilege we have of talking with a God like that and – in the proper context – bringing our requests before him?

A Glimpse Into What Heaven Will Be Like

White-robed people with halos and wings sitting on clouds and playing harps. That’s what popular culture thinks heaven will be like.

Raise your hand if that’s where you want to go. Not me! Sounds about as stimulating as being forced to count all the doorknobs in the Empire State Building.

For the record, the harp and clouds image is nowhere in the Bible. So, if this picture of heaven is wrong, what will it really be like?

Before I share some thoughts, let me point out that the Bible clearly teaches that only people who are heaven-bound are those who have come to grips with their own sinfulness and trusted in the forgiveness Jesus made possible through his death and resurrection. If that’s something you’ve done, the rest of this article applies to you.

So, what will Christians experience in the afterlife?  Although the Bible doesn’t offer a detailed picture, it does hint at what awaits us.

In his first letter to the Corinthian church, Paul devotes the entire fifteenth chapter to discussing, first of all, Jesus bodily resurrection and, then, the resurrection of those who have trusted Christ.

Someone will ask, “How are the dead raised? With what kind of body will they come? . . . When you sow, you do not plant the body that will be, but just a seed, perhaps of wheat or of something else. . . . So it will be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised to glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body (15: 35, 37, 42-44a).

Let’s start with the idea of the seed that is buried and what it ultimately becomes – something totally unlike what it started out as. Consider the relationship between an acorn and an oak tree. An acorn is small, round, and hard – beautiful in its own way. But the makeup of an oak tree is far more complex, consisting of a root system, protective bark, a hardwood structure, tubes that transport fluid and nutrients, elegant leaves, and (yes) even more acorns. An acorn weighs about 1 ounce. An eighty-foot oak tree with a two-foot diameter weighs approximately 10 tons. That makes an oak tree over 300,000 times heavier than an acorn.

We can’t press this analogy too far, but it does hint at the order of magnitude between this life and the one to come. A seed is small and fairly simple compared to the ultimate plant that is spectacularly larger and incredibly more complex.

Beyond the size differentials, Paul also distinguishes between the innate nature of what is planted and what ultimately emerges:  perishable vs. imperishable, dishonored vs. glorious, weak vs. powerful, natural vs. spiritual. All these contrasts point to a future life infinitely more desirable than this present one.

The singers of the whimsical Polka standard “In Heaven There Is No Beer” declare that, since they expect heaven to be devoid of the pleasures of earth, they eagerly drink their beer here. Although the song is good for a chuckle, it completely inverts the “pleasure ratio” between this life and the next. There is not a single legitimate earthly pleasure God has created for people to enjoy that will be absent from heaven. In fact, the glimpse we get from these verses from Paul assure us that our future pleasures will be multiplied almost beyond measure. So, you won’t be missing out on anything.

The next time you happen on an acorn on one of your hikes, think about the incredible potential it contains – the ability to explode into an awe-inspiring, towering oak tree. And remind yourself that this dynamic offers a taste of what God has in store for you.

You’re in the Bible Even if You Don’t Realize It

According to The Biographical Bible, there are 3,237 named characters in the Bible. The mentions range from just names in genealogical lists to detailed, fully developed portraits.

Recently, our pastor challenged us to find ourselves in the Bible. “Which character’s story,” he asked, “most closely resembles yours?” The goal was not to identify who we want to be. Otherwise, most guys would gravitate toward David, Peter or one of the other impressive heroes. Instead, he asked us to decide whose story and circumstances most closely parallel ours.

I would like to pass this challenge along to you. With hundreds of people to pick from, you can almost certainly find at least one character with a story similar to yours.

Rather than just including its major characters’ triumphs, the Bible is surprisingly candid about their flaws:

• Although Abraham was a great man of faith, he was also a coward who twice tried to pass his wife off as his sister to avoid possible danger from hostile rulers (Genesis12 and 20)

• David was a triumphant warrior, an inspiring leader, and a gifted poet but also an adulterer, a murderer, and a terrible dad.

• Despite his impressive leadership skills, Peter also had the habit of speaking and acting well before thinking.

Some of the Bible’s less prominent individuals showed great strength and faithfulness:

• Boaz (who ended up marrying the destitute Ruth), was a man of great integrity (Book of Ruth).

• ·The prophet Hosea was willing to follow God’s instructions to marry a prostitute to illustrate God’s willingness to reclaim the wayward people of Israel (Book of Hosea).

• ·The unnamed Centurion who recognized that Jesus could heal his servant without even being physically present received Jesus’ commendation (Matthew 8).

Other characters were less admirable:

• Achan sinned by secretly stealing some of the bounty after the conquest of Jericho, violating God’s specific instructions (Joshua 7).

• The prodigal son represents those who openly disregard God’s standards (Luke 15).

• The prodigal’s older brother parallels the Pharisees’ rigid and graceless legalism.

So how about it? Which Bible character’s story most closely matches yours? And beyond just identifying your “spiritual doppelganger,” what lessons or insights you can learn from their circumstances and reactions. Did they turn to God? Did they act irresponsibly? Was their life changed for the positive?

How about you? How have you handled your circumstances?

For the record, my Bible “twin” is the man by the pool of Bethesda who was disabled for 38 years and who Jesus singled out for healing (John 5). There were many others present with great needs too. But for some reason, Jesus walked past them all and restored just the one man sitting by himself in the corner, leaving everyone else with their problems. Why did he select that man and no one else?

His story is a lot like mine. Faith was almost entirely absent from my upbringing. In fact, there was great indifference and even some hostility toward the church and Jesus’ claim to be the only way to God. I was also subjected to considerable emotional abuse by mentally ill people. Bottom line:  there was virtually nothing in my background to predict that Jesus would change my life by singling me out and rescuing me from my depressingly dysfunctional circumstances.

In one of my favorite scenes from the awesome streaming TV series The Chosen, Simon the Zealot offers his allegiance and service to Jesus. Of course, Jesus accepts. But listen to what he tells Simon: “I have everything I need, but I wanted you.” I love that! Jesus wanted Simon, and he wanted me. He bypassed all kinds of people in my family and circle of friends to “get” me. I don’t understand why or take any credit for it, but I am eternally grateful.

I would love it if you would let me know who your spiritual doppelganger is, why you identify with them, and what you have learned from their story.

How Should You Respond to Past Mistakes and “Non-Moral” Lapses?

Mistakes, regrets, things we’d do differently if we could. We all have them. I’m not talking about major transgressions like broking the law, intentionally hurting someone, or consciously sinning. Instead, I’m referring to things we did out of ignorance, immaturity, or poor judgment. Everyone agrees that we should always keep growing. That implies that you know more about life now than you did ten years ago and that you will probably know more ten years from now than you do today.

From time to time, a particular situation triggers memories of past actions I now regret. Like my habit in middle school of loudly commenting on my “superior” grades every time the teacher returned our tests. Or the time I embarrassed my brother in front of his classmates by publicly offering to sit next to the unpopular girl he refused to talk to. Or the time I failed to bring a Christmas gift for the family that invited me to spend the holiday with them. Or the time I inadvertently insulted my hostess by commenting that the gravy helped make her roast less dry.

None of these were mortal sins, but they do reflect my self-absorption or level of relative immaturity at the time.

Some individuals can blow these memories off. But I’ve talked to enough people to know that many folks are wired like I am and are momentarily immobilized in a cloud of shame and mild self-condemnation by this type of recollection.

Here are some thoughts about how to deal with these fleeting negative episodes.

First and foremost, remember where many of them come from. The Bible teaches that, among his many other evil activities, Satan loves to accuse Christians (Rev. 12:10). Whenever I experience these moments of regret, I have learned to remind myself that because I am a Christian, God has completely forgiven me and no longer condemns me (Romans 8:1). That doesn’t mean that these actions were OK or that there might not be unpleasant consequences. But it helps to conclude that of God doesn’t condemn me, neither should I.

Next, realize that the fact you now recognize your prior action was a mistake means that the “current you” has learned and grown. You’re not the “you” you were when you made the blunder. So, live in the present and move on now that you know better.

And finally think about how you would react if you saw someone you liked inadvertently committing whatever transgression you’re kicking yourself for. Whenever I observe a friend’s momentary lapse, I assume they are not intentionally committing a foul. Instead, I know they’re most likely acting out of ignorance or inexperience, and it’s easy to grant them grace. Take this attitude and apply it to yourself. If you wouldn’t “condemn” your friend for their poor judgment, neither should you condemn yourself.

Like I said, not everyone has the tendency toward self-criticism, but if you do, following these suggestions can be truly liberating. I sincerely hope they help free you from any paralyzing thoughts about yourself you may sometimes have.

Can You See This? Maybe Not If You're in the Wrong Spot

NOTE:  This post includes a total of eight photos. Please be sure to scroll down through the end or you’ll miss the surprise.

Joshua trees are rather funky trees in the Yucca genus that grow in the Southwestern US. Like saguaro cactus (the ones you always see in the old Western movies) and puffy cumulus clouds, Joshua trees often come in imaginative shapes that invite people to see interesting images.

These first two pictures show typical Joshua trees. The third one sure looks like a character from a Dr. Suess book to me.

On our way from our vacation place in Wrightwood, CA to Victorville, we always drive by a particular dead Joshua tree that reminded me of something (or someone) the first time I saw it. Here are three shots of this tree from three different angles. What do you see?

You didn’t see much? I’m not surprised. That’s because you are not seeing it from the angle from which I originally saw it.

Scroll down. Now what does it look like?

Obviously, I’m not the only one who sees this as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Scroll down to the next pic. Someone took it on himself or herself to decorate “Rudolph” last Christmas.

Then keep scrolling down after the picture.

The point is that if you are viewing something from the “wrong” angle, you can miss seeing something significant.

This phenomenon applies to more than Joshua trees and clouds. I also affects someone’s ideas about Jesus. In my book That’s a Great Question: What to Say When Your Faith Is Challenged, I identify five mental filters used by people who don’t really believe to Bible to make it say what they want it to say. Throughout history, many have used their filters to “reinterpret” Jesus to suit their preferences. Over the years, various writers and theologians have concluded that Jesus was one or more of the following:

·       Only a prophet

·       A political activist

·       A brilliant teacher but not divine

·       An enlightened seeker of truth

·       The original flower child

·       A mystic

·       The eternal essence of universal goodness sublimely manifested in a human personage (whatever that means)

·       The prototype of the new spiritual humanity to come

·       A magician

·       A hypnotist

·       Gay

·       An extraterrestrial

But if you take Jesus at face value – that is, in an unfiltered way – as he is described in the New Testament, you will see him as he really is:  the Son of God, the third person of the Trinity, God in human form, the savior of the world, the only way to truly know God.

Unfortunately, just like some people fail to see Rudolph because they are viewing him from the wrong perspective, many miss the real Jesus because they filter him through their unfortunate presuppositions.

If you haven’t done so in a while. I encourage you to pick up a copy of the New Testament and read what Jesus says about himself in the gospels, asking him to reveal himself to you in a fresh way. It can be life-changing.

When Is Grace Not Grace?

“Oh, now I get it!” I was mowing the lawn at my mom’s house after my college sophomore year, mulling over a particular Bible passage, Ephesians 2:8-9.

For by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast (ESV).

That previous November I had recognized the reality of Jesus’ deity and the fact that he died to take care of my separation from God caused by my sin. Over the next few months, my understanding of the Christian life grew, and now I finally grasped the fact that I really didn’t have anything to brag about because I believed in Jesus. Even that belief was a gift from God and an expression of his grace. I certainly hadn’t earned it.

Christians who take the Bible seriously are big on the concept of grace. But I’ve noticed a disconnect for many when it comes to experiencing grace on a day-to-day basis. For some, grace seems to be primarily a “past tense” and theological concept. What I mean is that they fully recognize that their behavior didn’t earn their initial standing with God, and they often point to a moment when they trusted Christ to forgive their sins. That part of grace they get. But for some, grace seems to be frozen in the past.

The problem with the “backward-looking” view of grace is that it often crowds out a “present tense” understanding of the concept.

A few weeks ago, I finished reading Paul’s letter to the church in Galatia. His primary message was that they were messing up by thinking they had to follow the Jewish law in order to be good Christians. No, says Paul. As good as the law is, no one is saved by following its requirements. It’s all God’s grace. Verse 2:21:  “If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping then Christ died unnecessarily (The Message).

Unfortunately, I have seen a number of churches and ministries with “grace” in their names, but which exhibit anything but. This shows itself in two ways:

• In what they expect of Christians – Leadership often places overly strict behavioral standards on themselves and their followers. This guilt-inducing legalism is tragically reminiscent of what Paul preaches against in his Galatian letter and what Jesus so thoroughly denounces in the Pharisees.

• In how they view “outsiders” – They can develop harsh attitudes toward people who don’t agree with their theology or behavioral expectations. This lack of empathy often creates pushback against Christians. Sadly, among the first words millennials use to describe the church are “judgmental” “homophobic,” and “hypocritical.”

Another way of describing this dynamic is that Christians with a “past tense” sense of grace often fail to manifest grace to themselves, their followers, or outsiders. How tragically opposite this is from Jesus’ command to love God and love our neighbors.

Let me be clear. Our behavior does matter. Christians are called to holy living. And Christians do have a legitimate role in public policy debates.  We must never jettison God’s standards in order to conform to a watered-down, new age concept of love. Jesus, of course, perfectly modeled the right balance. He graciously received and forgave the women caught in adultery but went on to instruct her to leave her life of sin (John 7).

As we urge conforming to God’s requirements, we must do so in a way that reflects his ongoing grace for every individual. Otherwise, we gut the word “grace” of its meaning.

Let’s neither throw out the truths surrounding God’s holiness nor try to bludgeon our way into making people behave as we think they should.

Is Seeing Really Believing? Not Always

As the old saying goes, “There is none so blind as the one who will not see.” Two stories I recently read in my Chronological Study Bible made me stop in my tracks. One describes a fascinating aspect of Jesus’ arrest, and the other concerns the apostles’ imprisonment right as the church was starting.

You may recall that, as Jesus is being arrested, impulsive Peter takes it upon himself to try to defend Jesus and ends up cutting off the ear of the high priest’s servant. Luke reports that Jesus touches the man’s ear and heals him. Piece of cake.

Imagine you either are in the crowd sent by the chief priests, teachers of the law and elders or are one of the Roman soldiers sent to arrest Jesus. You just saw a man get his ear hacked off and Jesus miraculously restore it. What do you make of that? Isn’t that a bit unusual? Don’t you think that would make you conclude maybe Jesus isn’t an ordinary man and you should reconsider your role in arresting him? Apparently, it had little impact on the crowd. As far as we know, despite what they saw with their own eyes, they all stayed the course.

The other story is in Acts 5. Just as the church is launching, the religious establishment’s jealousy leads them to arrest and jail the apostles. After an angel miraculously releases the Christians, members of the Sanhedrin are perplexed when they discover they had vanished from the cell. “’We found the jail securely locked, with the guards standing at the doors; but when we opened them, we found no one inside’” (Acts 5:23). After discovering the apostles in the temple court, the Sanhedrin hauls them in again to further interrogate them. Even though they want to kill them, the religious leaders settle for “just” a flogging.

Think about that. The apostles are thrown into a Roman jail, secured by professionally trained guards, and yet they somehow escape. Even David Copperfield couldn’t pull that one off. What explanation is there for this other than that God did it? You would think the apostles’ disappearance would cause the church’s enemies to reconsider their opposition. Amazingly, it doesn’t. Notice they don’t deny that it happened. They just hate it. In this case, seeing is not believing.

In Jesus’ parable of the rich man and Lazarus, after his death, the rich man realizes his cataclysmic error of living apart from God and begs that the righteous Lazarus (who has also died) be sent back to the living to warn the rich man’s brothers. This request is denied because “they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead” (Luke 16:31). A truer statement was never spoken. Remember that Jesus brought at least three people back from the dead, and he himself also rose triumphantly. Yet, despite these irrefutable acts, the spiritually blind religious leaders persisted in their unbelief and opposition to the faith.  

Here is one of my favorite sayings:  “The same sun that melts wax hardens clay.” The endpoint isn’t determined by the external force (in this case the sun); rather, the result is governed by what is being acted upon. Whether God’s grace melts or hardens someone’s hearts depends on what’s inside it.

These stories help me understand why so many deny the certainties of God’s truths and the reality of Jesus’ death and resurrection that made our return to God possible. Those folks are spiritually blind. I don’t say this with an ounce of arrogance or glee. I spent many years there myself, and it was only God’s grace that opened my eyes. But this realization does motivate me to want to help them come to understand God’s incredible forgiveness and grace.

Three action points:

1. If you have come to know Jesus, you should live each day with gratitude that he touched your heart and melted the hardness.

2. As you discuss the reality of Jesus’ love with others, do so out of love without any sense of judgment. Would you ever chastise a physically blind person because they are unable to see?

3. Examine yourself and ask God to point to any areas of your life where you might be harboring some lingering spiritual blindness.

Let’s all ask God to use us to minimize spiritual blindness wherever we find it.

3 Ways to Change – Which Is Best?

“Tom, you are Christian now. You need to stop drinking, smoking pot and smoking cigarettes.” That’s what a well-meaning person told my good friend Tom Jeannett a few weeks after Tom came to faith in Christ. Confused, Tom went to Jim, the guy who had initially shared the gospel with him, and said, “I thought you told me it was a free gift, and now this guy is telling me I need to do this and that. That’s pretty much what I came out of. If this is what it means to be a Christian, I’m not sure I’m interested.”

Wisely, Jim said, “Tom, you have a personal relationship with the Lord now. Why don’t you just talk to him about this and ask him to show you if it’s something he wants you to change.” Tom thought that was reasonable, so he agreed to that plan. Here’s how he describes the results:

After seven months, God brought me to the point of seeing that continuing to do all those things after experiencing the blessing of having a growing, personal relationship with Jesus was like settling for hamburger when the Lord was offering filet mignon. On May 2 of that year I quit drugs and cigarettes and getting drunk.

And he never looked back. I have known Tom for many years, and the transformation in his life is astounding. He is one of the most godly and pure-hearted people I know.

The original advice Tom got reflects the “admonition method” where someone (correctly) points to a biblical standard and urges the other person to change their behavior. There is certainly a place for that, and we should never ignore the Bible’s behavioral expectations.

A second approach is where a person decides on their own to change their habits through discipline and determination. I’m all for intentional self-improvement, and we should pursue this as well.

Please understand, I am not dismissing either of these approaches. You should always be open to heeding instructions from others or entering a discipline that improves your life. However, the most profound changes occur when God burns a new conviction into your heart.

One event from my early days as a Christian parallels Tom’s experience. I trusted Christ my second year of college. Before that point, my language frequently included words – many of which had four letters – that you never hear from the pulpit on Sunday mornings. I also referenced Jesus frequently, but not in prayer – if you know what I mean.

One day about a year into my Christian life, I was having a friendly argument with a guy from my dorm floor. I headed toward the elevator to go to dinner and he said something stupid. As I stepped into the empty elevator, I turned around to respond and yelled out, “What in the world are you talking about?!? Jesus Christ!!”

At that moment, the elevator doors slammed shut, the Holy Spirit pierced my heart, showing me that my use of Jesus’ name like that was totally inappropriate. And I never, ever, ever did that again. The thought of swearing by using Jesus’ in that way had become instantly repulsive to me.

So, there are three ways to pursue change:

• Respond to someone’s admonitions

• Embark on a self-improvement plan

• Ask God to reveal areas of sin and change your heart

Although all three are valid, the most profound and long-lasting is the last one. Even though you can’t manufacture or force this type of change – God has to be the one to do it – you can develop a heart posture that parallels David’s in Psalm 139:23-24.

Search me, God, and know my heart;

try me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

Why Did Judas Do It?

Nobody names their baby boy Judas. Far from being a role model, Judas Iscariot was the most notorious traitor in all human history.

His betrayal of Jesus is a well-known story, and as we enter the Easter season, this is a good time to consider why he did it. How could someone who spent three years traveling side-by-side with Jesus, hearing his revolutionary teaching, and watching him perform miracles of all kinds become a turncoat, setting in motion his execution? Historians and theologians have speculated about this for centuries.

In his commentary on the Gospel of Matthew, William Barclay identifies the three most popular theories:

1. He did it out of greed – Two of the gospels (Matthew and Mark) relate how Judas cut a deal with the Jewish religious leaders right after the writers recount Jesus’ anointing with expensive oil by a devoted woman. John adds the detail that Judas objected to what he perceived as her wasteful act. John also reports that Judas was the disciples’ treasurer who embezzled their funds. According to this theory, Judas’ main motive in betraying Jesus was money. But what a terrible deal. The thirty pieces of silver he got was only the equivalent of about six month’s wages – hardly enough to retire on. Barclay comments, “If greed was the cause of his act of treachery, it is the most terrible example in history of the depths which love of money can reach.”

2. He did it out of bitterness and disappointment – According to this view, Judas was seriously upset that Jesus apparently wasn’t going to use his supernatural powers to overthrow the oppressive Romans. His refusal to lead a rebellion may have turned Judas’ disillusionment into hatred, and he betrayed him out of spite.

3. He was trying to force Jesus’ hand – Judas almost certainly expected Jesus’ kingdom to be an earthly, political one. But Jesus seemed to be acting way too slowly. The thought here is that by backing Jesus into a corner, perhaps Judas could speed up his timetable.

Both Dr. R. C. Sproul and Dr. Tony Evans support the first explanation, while William Barclay believes the third is most likely. Since the gospels don’t spell out Judas’ motivation, we can’t say for sure which is most likely. And it could actually have been a combination of the three.

But there is another element – a supernatural one – that factors in. The Gospel of John peels back the curtain and reveals that Judas was really motivated by Satan (John 13:2). So, even though at the human level we can’t determine why Judas did it, we do know that behind the scenes, Satan was pulling the strings.

However, there is an even deeper aspect of this story – God’s plan of redemption established before time began. Because of humanity’s sin and rebellion against God, he determined to send his son Jesus into the world to carry the penalty for everyone’s sins, thereby making possible a restored relationship with God. So, Judas’ human motivation and even Satan’s treachery played right into God’s plan to rescue and redeem the world.

Jesus knew this, and after spending an agonizing night in the Garden of Gethsemane, he willingly agreed to die for the sins of the world. As you read the accounts of Jesus’ various trials, you get the odd sensation that, although he is the one being grilled, he is really the one controlling the process and the outcome. And his bodily resurrection three days later corroborates his supremacy over not only the trials that led to his death, but all of life and creation.

So, what is the human explanation for Judas’ act? We can’t say for sure, but we do know that the end point of his treachery resulted in making new life possible for everyone who recognizes their need for forgiveness.

If You Are a High Achiever, You Must Read This

High achievers are incredible! They drive many of the breakthroughs that propel science, medicine, business, and the arts forward. Virtually every book targeted to high achievers touts the value of setting goals and sticking to them, no matter what.

In my last blog, I stressed the importance of starting with goals at the “right” level, that is recognizing that in the long run, developing character is more important than achieving the objective immediately in front of you. It isn’t always necessary to choose between the two, but if you must pick, the former should always prevail.

This time, I’d like to explore a related concept.

Richard Dreyfuss starred in the 1995 movie Mr. Holland’s Opus. The word “opus” is related to the Latin word for “work” and is used to catalog classical music composers’ bodies of work. So, for example, Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony in C minor is tagged his opus 67.

The movie traces the career of Glenn Holland, an aspiring classical composer who is forced become a music teacher at Kennedy Highs School in Oregon to support his family. His true life’s passion is getting An American Symphony, the orchestral piece he composed, published and recognized as the fine piece of music he believes it to be. Unfortunately, his composition remains obscure, and after 30 years of teaching, budget cuts force his retirement.

Unbeknownst to him, his former students get wind of his involuntary retirement and secretly gather to celebrate his enormous contribution to their personal lives by surprising him with the first public performance of An American Symphony. In true Hollywood fashion, even though the students were mediocre musicians in high school and probably haven’t touched their clarinets in decades, their performance is worthy of the London Metropolitan Orchestra. As a matter of fact, the London Metropolitan Orchestra did perform the piece on the film’s soundtrack.

The movie’s lesson is obvious. Rather than being his treasured musical piece, Mr. Holland’s true “opus” or work is the profound impact he had on hundreds of students over the many years of his career.

If you are a high achiever, you undoubtedly have set you sights on some pretty significant accomplishments. That’s awesome! You very well could revolutionize key aspect of your professional realm. But I hope your true opus will be like Mr. Holland’s – the positive impact you have had those you have known along the way. Unfortunately, many of us have lived or worked with people who are practically idolized within their professions because of their accomplishments but have left trails of fractured relationships and bitterness in their wakes.

That’s not who I want to be. I’ve had my share of success in “visible” things like my career and public ministry. But I also have the privilege of meeting regularly one-on-one with about 12 – 15 younger guys. I don’t share this to “brag,” but three of them have told me that my meeting with them has literally been lifechanging. And a few years ago, two of them, who grew up without dads, sent me very special messages on Father’s Day. It doesn’t get any better than that! These guys, along with my family – and not my business or ministry “successes” – are my real “opus.”

Of course, there is no rule of the universe that declares that someone can’t simultaneously achieve great things and be a kind, loving human being. But you can be blinded by the spotlight of success, and I urge you to give preference to seeing your true life’s work as the lives you’ve changed for the better and the positive relationships you’ve nurtured over the years.

This objective reminds me of the best definition of success I have ever heard – “When those who know you the best, love you the most." At your funeral, will there be more talk about your genius as a business leader, your oratory skills as a pastor, your brilliance as a musician, or about the way you reflected God’s love to the people you met throughout your life?

Do These Three Things, and You’ll Be Guaranteed Success

About a year ago, I heard a radio interview with former WNBA player and coach Nancy Lieberman in which she recounted an exhibition one-on-one game she played against basketball legend Michael Jordan. Anyone with any sense would be apprehensive about going up against the GOAT. And Nancy was.

Predictably, she got buried. But she emerged feeling successful. Why? Because, rather than shrinking from the challenge, she faced her perfectly understandable fear head-on and did her best even though she lost. As a result, she was able to hold her head high.

Her interview reminded me of a concept I learned on Cru staff many years ago. Athletes in Action (the athletic arm of the ministry) circulated a concept called “Total Release.” AIA’s various teams compete against top collegiate teams, and in the context of those games, they typically have the chance to share about how Jesus has changed their lives and encourage their audiences to consider their own relationships with God.

As top athletes, they of course want to win. But guess what? Sometimes they don’t Does that mean they have failed? Total Release teaches that the sole way you measure success is whether or not you did your absolute best regarding both preparation and execution. Sometimes the scoreboard reflects the desired outcome, and sometimes it doesn’t. But even if you lose the game, you have been successful if you brought everything to the game.

In that spirit, let me offer my three steps that guarantee success.

1.     Set Your Goal at the Right Level – What are you really after? Of course, we’d all love to win the tennis match, get the promotion, or make the big sale. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But things don’t always turn out the way you want. And it’s often through failure and adversity – as difficult as that may be – that you learn and grow. The “loss” can actually be to your benefit if you let it build your character.

So, if you define success as whatever will do the most to enhance your character, you will even be able to appreciate “defeat.” And as Christians, we can take this one step further by defining success as doing our best to respond to God’s will for us, the best we know it.

2.     Do Absolutely Everything You Can to Prepare – AIA teams don’t win without personal preparation and hard work. Musicians mess up if they haven’t devoted hours mastering their instruments. Moms may be at a loss in trying to help their struggling students without thoroughly researching learning challenges and alternatives. Your desired outcome seldom comes without considerable effort.

3.     Leave the Results to God – If you have set your goal at the appropriate level – i.e., to always seek to honor God in everything you do even if your “lower level” objective is not reached – and you have done all within your power to accomplish the task at hand, you have succeeded if you can thank God for results, even if they’re not what you worked toward.

I hope you don’t see the headline of this article as a “bait and switch.” I advertised “guaranteed success.” That almost implies promising the ideal outcome for the specific venture in front of you. But then I changed the conversation by redefining success as pursuing things that develop character and honor God. I wish I could assure all your quests would turn out the way you want. I can’t. But, if you think about it, I hope you’ll agree that becoming the person God wants you to be far outweighs achievement of other very important – but lesser – goals.

A SECOND Suggestion to Help You Worry Less

The timing of the January 30, 2021 Brewster Rocket:  Space Guy! cartoon strip was perfect for this, my second post about worrying.

Panel 1

Young boy:  I look up my symptoms online because I worry about everything!

Young girl:  Ever worry that all that worrying could give you an ulcer?

Panel 2

(They both look at each other, silently.)

Panel 3

Young boy:  (Slightly annoyed, with hands on hips) Well, I will now!

Young girl:  Sorry.

That sums up where many of us live when it comes to worrying. We worry, and then we worry about worrying.

Last time, I suggested you address this issue by doing some rough estimates of the realistic likelihood of the calamity you fear actually happening. In most cases, the odds of the terrible outcome may be far less than the likelihood that your suitcase will be the very first one onto the airport conveyor belt after a packed flight.

This week, I have another suggestion.

Years ago, I found myself fretting about seemingly everything in my life, and I wondered how rooted in reality my anxiety was. So, I decided I would keep a list of every single thing I worried about for a whole week. At the end of the experiment, my list sported more than two dozen items. Most were either pretty trivial or rather far-fetched:

• “Did I really lock the door when I left the house this morning?” – Turns out I had.

• “Was it a mistake to leave that bill payment out in our mailbox for the postman to collect? What of someone steals it?” – No one did.

• “This is the second headache I’ve had this week. Any chance it could be a brain tumor?” – To this day, I have no scars on my skull, so, no. No tumor.

A couple of items were more serious. My wife Annette was about seven months into her second pregnancy, and she told me she hadn’t felt the baby move in a few days. Now that is cause for concern.

At week’s end, I reviewed my list and realized only one or two of the things I had stewed over had actually happened, and they were very minor. (Thankfully, the baby was fine, and we welcomed Stephanie into this world a few weeks later.)

Realizing how much emotional energy I had expended being troubled about dozens of things that never happened helped me rethink my posture toward worry. A good rule of thumb is that if a potential problem isn’t serious enough to ask a friend to pray with you about, it probably isn’t worth worrying over either. (Of course, we never really should worry about anything.)

My best friend Billy Burke has the amazing ability to lay his head on his pillow at night and go right to sleep even in the midst of the most troubling circumstances. “Worrying isn’t going to fix anything, so why add to my problems by depriving myself of sleep?”

And another element to factor in is God’s character – the combination of his sovereignty over absolutely everything, his lavish love for you, and his wisdom in knowing what you truly need (which is often different from what you want). As hard as it is, we must view every circumstance – especially the troubling ones – through this three-fold understanding of God’s nature. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do your part to address the issues before you. Of course you should. But try training yourself to view all your challenges through this lens of God’s trustworthiness.

And maybe – just maybe – you should try the “worry list” experiment yourself to see if your natural pattern matches mine.

A Great Idea to Help You Worry Less

To be human is to worry. Even the most optimistic people occasionally obsess over bad things that could possibly happen. I believe it was pastor Tony Evans who identified the important difference between concern and worry when he observed that I control concern, but worry controls me. He’s absolutely right!

I’ve spent more than my allotted time worrying, but I’ve also learned a couple of approaches that have helped me tame the worry beast. I will share one this week and another one in my next blog.

Absolutely everything in life carries at least some level of risk. Believe it or not, there is actually a clinical medical code (ICD-10 V91.07x) for a doctor to report burns caused by someone’s water skis catching fire. Think about that for a minute.

It’s easy to catastrophize the future and rush emotionally toward worst-case outcomes. One way to counter this is to analyze your situation and try to assess the true likelihood of the bad outcome materializing. Let me show you how this can work.

A few years ago, I was talking with a couple considering a trip to London. At the time, the city had just experienced its third terroristic bombing within about six months, causing the couple to reconsider their trip.

Let’s look at the situation more closely. Assume a pessimistic scenario where London would suffer one bombing a month (twice the then-current rate). That means that any given day has a 3.3% likelihood of an incident. If this couple’s trip lasted six days, statistically, they would have about a 20% chance of being in London on the day a bomb went off. The odds against being involved are clearly in their favor.

At 607 square miles, London is pretty big. Of course, bombers would attack high-traffic areas, but even it if only 10% is high traffic, that’s still 60 square miles – a pretty big area. In order to be directly affected when the bomb went off, our couple would visit the exact spot – within a few dozen yards of the bomb – inside the 60 square mile area. It’s hard to estimate, but the chances of them being at precisely the wrong location on the wrong day are very low.

Then you have to consider exact timing. Bombings happen in an instant. Terrorists would probably select a high-volume time, say between 10:00 a.m. and 10:00 p.m. – a period consisting of 720 minutes. So, there is only a 1 in 720 chance (slightly more than 0.1%) that they would be there the exact minute the bomb went off.  

It’s impossible to do a precise mathematical calculation of their risk, but thinking through the odds this way can yield an “order of magnitude” risk assessment and put the possibility of danger in perspective. In order for them to be harmed, they would have to be in the exact wrong place on the exact wrong day at the exact wrong instant. Is that possible? Sure. It’s also possible my skis will catch fire next time I go water skiing.

Anyone who has ever seen a University of Michigan football game at Michigan Stadium (“The Big House”) is overwhelmed by sheer capacity –109,901 fans – of the largest collegiate stadium in the country. Years ago while attending a game there, I remember thinking through the odds of a terrible outcome I feared and concluding that the likelihood of it happening would be about the same as me being the winner of one of three $100 gift cards given at random to someone in the packed Michigan Stadium. Seeing the sea of people in front of me help put me at ease, realizing how astronomically low the probability was. And, by the way, the dreaded thing never did happen.

Of course, there is always a chance of bad outcomes, but sitting down and actually thinking about the probability typically “defangs” the worry monster.

Next time, I’ll share another approach that has also helped me enormously. Stay tuned.

Part of the 109,901-fan crowd

While I Was Speaking FOR God, God Spoke TO Me

I have to admit, I’m never quite sure what to think when someone says that God spoke to them. There are many examples where the supposed message must have gotten a bit garbled because what God allegedly promised didn’t happen. Look no further than the recent predictions by several high-profile Christians who announced that God told them Donald Trump would get reelected.

Although I’ve never heard God’s voice audibly, I’ve experienced maybe six or eight times when I felt God undeniably communicated directly with me. This was either through a profound sense of his presence accompanying a message laser-focused for me at that precise moment or through a series of incredible circumstances that lined up so clearly that there was no missing the point. (My recent blog about how God led us to buy the California vacation house falls in this latter category.)

Even though clear and direct messages are rare, I have also experienced the Holy Spirit frequently communicating thoughts and ideas that have the fingerprints of God all over them. Although I can’t say with 100% certainty that these are always from the Lord, over the decades as I have followed these promptings, I have learned to recognize and trust them.

I had just such an experience a few weeks ago when, on the Sunday after Christmas, I had the privilege of delivering the message in all three services at our church. One of my main points was distinguishing among three attitudes about our relationship with God:

• “I have to” – I “have to” obey the rules, tithe, read the Bible, pray, etc. This drudgery often results in cheerless legalism.

• “I want to” – This is better, but still includes an element of “performing for God” because he expects me to.

• “I get to” – This recognizes the great privilege we have to live according to the way God intended us to.

For the “I get to” part, I was rattling off a list of things I get to do:

• I get to learn more about God by reading the Bible.

• I get to use the resources he has given me to help others understand God’s love.

• I get to be his representative here to help other people see how awesome God is.

• I get to tell other people how Jesus has changed my life.

During the third service as I mentioned, “I get to talk to the God of the universe through prayer,” I felt the Holy Spirit telling me I was highlighting the wrong part of that sentence. Instead of saying I get to talk to God, the emphasis should be that I get to talk to the God of the universe. Think about that. I get to have a relationship with the one who:

• created absolutely everything in the world

• holds it all together

• knows every time a sparrow dies

• loved me enough that he sent his son Jesus to die for my sins

• inexplicably touched my heart and changed my life

This insight gave me a tiny inking into how Job must have felt when God asked him where Job was when God laid the foundations of the earth, if Job could send lightning bolts on their way, whether Job could bring forth the constellations in their seasons, and so much more (Job 38-40).

This is the God I get to know personally. What an incredible thought! Think through the implications of the fact that this is who you get to communicate with.

So, yes, God spoke to me as I was speaking for him. And I got to experience that.

One of the Best Relationship Suggestions I’ve Heard in a Long Time

Note:  This article, first posted in February 2019, is one of my favorites. I thought it would provide a very positive suggestion as we start 2021.

On a recent Focus on the Family radio broadcast, marriage counselor Dave Carder suggested an intriguing communication exercise for couples. Every morning for 30 days, he suggested, each of you should write down something you like about your spouse, and then share it with him or her at the end of the day.

My immediate thought was, “Great idea, but 30 seems like a lot. I certainly like lots of things about my wife, but 30 might be a stretch.” When I shared this idea with Annette, she suggested an alternative. “What if we modify it to 20 things I like about you, and 10 things about you that drive me crazy? Maybe we could do two days on, one day off.” (Her reaction reflected #25 on my list of things I like about her:  her sense of humor.)

We went ahead with this exercise, and I must say it’s been one of the best things we’ve ever done. I found myself thinking all day about both what I had written for that day – looking forward to sharing it – and pondering what I would say the next. Spending a month thinking about all the things you like about your wife is an awesome experience!

Midway through the month, I started to fear I might “run dry.” Then I realized I could “buy” several days if I started listing things she is not:  she is not high maintenance; she is not a gossip; she is not a troublemaker; she is not a “shopper.” (I know this last one makes me the envy of half the men in the country.)

Perhaps the most interesting aspect was how surprised we were by some of the items the other person listed. After being married for 38 years, I heard Annette verbalize some positive things about me that had never even occurred to me.

And it turns out that the most surprising thing she said about me didn’t show up until the very last day when she told me I don’t have a mean bone in my body. She said she has never seen me do anything to intentionally harm anyone. I pushed back a bit and reminded her to the many times I would complain – occasionally bitterly – about some of the jerks in my life. She agreed that I have honed that particular skill pretty well, but she went on to point out that, despite my negative feelings, she has never seen me take action to hurt them. I had never thought of that. What an encouraging observation from the person who knows me better than anyone else!

Interestingly, my #30 comment about her was also an obvious one that I’m surprised I hadn’t tagged sooner – the fact that she feels secure enough in our marriage to be able to express her anger toward me knowing it wouldn’t kill our relationship. I’m thrilled she feels that safe.

And it turns out we didn’t have to worry about running out of ideas. We each even came up with one or two “bonus” items, beyond the 30.

So, I highly recommend this exercise. Give it a try!  By the way, you can also do this with your kids or anyone else. Tell them one thing you like about them every day for 30 days.

Two Dramatic Answers to Prayer in the Context of Hundreds of Unanswered Ones

Last time, I told the incredible story of how the Lord led us to buy a vacation house in the San Gabriel Mountains during the California Bobcat wildfire, which came within six miles of the house. The bottom line of that blog was that once God makes his will clear, we should joyously follow it even if some downstream circumstances prove tragic. As a reminder, our house did not burn down.

But there is another lesson from this event. As I explained last time, for years Annette and I had been

praying about and researching ways to have more direct involvement in our kids’ and grandkids’ lives despite being 2,100 miles away. Nothing made sense. And then one Monday in August, we learned about this great vacation house that made everything fall into place. We put an offer in that Friday, and it was accepted the following Monday.

About the same time, our son-in-law Rosty experienced an equally incredible eight-day dramatic answer to prayer. His law firm was experiencing great stress:  the two senior partners were retiring, it lost its major client, and its overall sector was declining. These dynamics required considerable retraction and downsizing. Rosty saw the handwriting on the wall and began exploring other possibilities. Unfortunately, his segment of law is rather narrow, and due to family needs, he had to confine his job search to the Los Angeles area. Opportunities were hard to come by, and none of us were optimistic.

Then on a Monday, also in August, he saw an online ad for an associate’s position at a dynamic law firm in nearby Irvine. It was a longshot. Despite his solid years of experience, he had no experience in this new firm’s practice areas. Of course, Rosty was completely upfront about what he had and had not done, and his interviewers said they understood and were fine with that. They greatly respected his background and skillset and were confident he would quickly come up to speed in the content areas.

So, just as our house acquisition decision spanned just eight days (from Monday to Monday), so did Rosty’s job search. He was offered the job exactly eight days (coincidently, also Monday to Monday) after seeing the online ad.

Both of these stories are incredibly encouraging and speak to God’s gracious intervention in our lives. But they stand in stark contrast to literally hundreds of heartfelt prayers offered over many years that didn’t turn out the way I or others wanted:  illnesses that ended in death, financial stresses that lingered and lingered, mental illnesses that weren’t healed, new business ventures that failed, marriages that fell apart, wayward children who never returned, addicts who never achieved sobriety, etc. How do we explain this?

The best I can come up with hearkens back to my last post’s reference to three things Jerry Bridges says about God in his incredible book Trusting God:

·       He controls absolutely everything.

·       He loves you completely.

·       He knows what he’s doing.

These truths back you into the corner (metaphorically and theologically) of having to conclude that you can – indeed, must – trust God in all circumstances, even the ones you hate.

Why does he answer some of your prayers (occasionally with great flair) and not others?

I have no idea. But think about this. If you could “make” God do everything you wanted, you would essentially become the all-powerful magician who could make God do your bidding. Do you really want that?

I may not know why God answers some prayers and not others, but I do know that God is trustworthy. As Paul triumphantly affirms, “I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day” (2 Timothy 1:12). All I can add is, “Amen!”