3 Ways to Change – Which Is Best?

“Tom, you are Christian now. You need to stop drinking, smoking pot and smoking cigarettes.” That’s what a well-meaning person told my good friend Tom Jeannett a few weeks after Tom came to faith in Christ. Confused, Tom went to Jim, the guy who had initially shared the gospel with him, and said, “I thought you told me it was a free gift, and now this guy is telling me I need to do this and that. That’s pretty much what I came out of. If this is what it means to be a Christian, I’m not sure I’m interested.”

Wisely, Jim said, “Tom, you have a personal relationship with the Lord now. Why don’t you just talk to him about this and ask him to show you if it’s something he wants you to change.” Tom thought that was reasonable, so he agreed to that plan. Here’s how he describes the results:

After seven months, God brought me to the point of seeing that continuing to do all those things after experiencing the blessing of having a growing, personal relationship with Jesus was like settling for hamburger when the Lord was offering filet mignon. On May 2 of that year I quit drugs and cigarettes and getting drunk.

And he never looked back. I have known Tom for many years, and the transformation in his life is astounding. He is one of the most godly and pure-hearted people I know.

The original advice Tom got reflects the “admonition method” where someone (correctly) points to a biblical standard and urges the other person to change their behavior. There is certainly a place for that, and we should never ignore the Bible’s behavioral expectations.

A second approach is where a person decides on their own to change their habits through discipline and determination. I’m all for intentional self-improvement, and we should pursue this as well.

Please understand, I am not dismissing either of these approaches. You should always be open to heeding instructions from others or entering a discipline that improves your life. However, the most profound changes occur when God burns a new conviction into your heart.

One event from my early days as a Christian parallels Tom’s experience. I trusted Christ my second year of college. Before that point, my language frequently included words – many of which had four letters – that you never hear from the pulpit on Sunday mornings. I also referenced Jesus frequently, but not in prayer – if you know what I mean.

One day about a year into my Christian life, I was having a friendly argument with a guy from my dorm floor. I headed toward the elevator to go to dinner and he said something stupid. As I stepped into the empty elevator, I turned around to respond and yelled out, “What in the world are you talking about?!? Jesus Christ!!”

At that moment, the elevator doors slammed shut, the Holy Spirit pierced my heart, showing me that my use of Jesus’ name like that was totally inappropriate. And I never, ever, ever did that again. The thought of swearing by using Jesus’ in that way had become instantly repulsive to me.

So, there are three ways to pursue change:

• Respond to someone’s admonitions

• Embark on a self-improvement plan

• Ask God to reveal areas of sin and change your heart

Although all three are valid, the most profound and long-lasting is the last one. Even though you can’t manufacture or force this type of change – God has to be the one to do it – you can develop a heart posture that parallels David’s in Psalm 139:23-24.

Search me, God, and know my heart;

try me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.