Follow-Up: I’m Glad I Didn’t Ask for Prayer

My last post ended with a cliffhanger. I reported that, during a recent pre-service worship team huddle, I decided against asking for prayer that three guys from the gym would come to church that day. Too much of my motivation for mentioning that would have been grandstanding before the pastor and the others. If y ou missed that post, you can scroll down to read it.

In the article, I didn’t reveal whether or not the gym guys came, and several of you asked if they did. They did not.

Of course, I was disappointed but not particularly upset. We have developed friendships over the last few months, and I will continue to chat with them at the gym and/or over breakfast, so this was not a “make or break” invitation.

Sometimes we place too much importance on a particular ministry opportunity as if it’s game over if things don’t turn out as we hoped. We forget that God often woos people over time.

In the September/October 2024 issue of Christianity Today magazine, Linda Holifield shares how she came to know Christ. Raised in a black-and-white, fundamentalist Christian background, she drifted away and ultimately renounced her faith, primarily because she never got answers to her honest questions. However, through ongoing involvement with a “non-anxious and faithfully Christian friend” (as she calls her), Linda started on the journey back to faith and eventually established a life-changing relationship with Jesus. She concludes her story like this:

If God can pursue me over decades, patiently meet me in moments of seeming godlessness, and ultimately resurrect my heart . . . , then I can trust him to be alive in the spiritual journeys of others who seem far off from him. . . . My story screams of God’s long-game redemptive work that was out of sight for so long. (Click this link to read her full story: My Deconstruction Turned to Deconversion. But God Wasn’t Anxious. - Christianity Today)

So, no, the fact that my fellow gym rats didn’t show up is not the end of the story. Although it’s an honor to be part of helping someone come to faith (and something we should all be engaged with) the other person’s eternal destiny does not depend on me. As Jesus said, even the rocks cry out the truth (Luke 19:40).

Of course, we are told to join with others in prayer (Matthew 18:19). However, you can misunderstand this admonition and assume your request might only be answered if you reach a “tipping point” concerning three aspects of prayer: 

• Praying frequently enough

• Getting enough others to agree with you in prayer

• Demonstrating your sincerity through enough emotional intensity

You can subconsciously imagine – almost superstitiously – there’s a mathematical “formula” that ups the chance of God answering your prayers. If you don’t get your desired results, you could erroneously conclude it’s because you didn’t rack up enough “total prayer minutes” or weren’t fervent enough. But remember, God responds to your requests based on his wisdom and love, not because you met some vague threshold that shows you’re serious.

So, I will continue to have friendly conversations with the gym guys. Maybe they will come to church one day. Maybe they won’t. But getting them to walk into the building is not the issue. The real endgame is helping them strengthen their relationships with Jesus, and that can happen in any number of ways. If God chooses to use me to do that, that would be great. But he doesn’t need me.

One important concept I learned while on Cru staff is this:  Success in witnessing is sharing Jesus in the power of the Holy Spirit and leaving the results to God. This principle of faithfully carrying out your duties and trusting God with the outcome applies to all ministry ventures. And this allows you to relax in God’s sovereignty and grace.

+++++++++++++++

Many are the plans in a person’s heart,

but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails

Proverbs 19:21

• How do you react when something you sincerely and earnestly prayed for doesn’t happen?

• What is the balance between defining a desired outcome and being able to trust God with the outcome?

Billy Joel Got It Wrong

We have a four-octave electronic keyboard that our grandkids love to bang on. Their favorite feature is the demo song that plays Billy Joel’s “Just the Way You Are” as it cycles every four bars through several of 99 different “voices”:  flute, Hawaiian guitar, pipe organ, tuba, accordion, bag pipes, gurgle, etc. The kids think it’s a hoot!

Hearing this tune ad nauseum reminded me of the lyrics. Here’s the opening line:   

Don't go changing to try and please me/You never let me down before

One of the verses says.

I said, "I love you," that's forever

And this, I promise from the heart, mmm-hmm-hmm

I couldn't love you any better

I love you just the way you are

The irony is that the piano man wrote this song in 1979 for his first wife Elizabeth Weber, but sadly, they divorced in 1982. Countless pop songs include lyrics pledging never-ending love, but many of the composers and artists who produce these songs experience anything but that. I think it’s because they confuse like and love.

We typically think that you progress from like to love. And that’s often true. But just because you love someone doesn’t mean you like everything about them. Married couples should have an unbreakable commitment to love each other until they are parted by death. However, you can deeply love someone but not always like their behavior. God loves unconditionally those of us who have committed our lives to him and received the forgiveness Jesus offers. But that doesn’t mean he approves of our misbehavior.

Recently, after hearing the electronic version of this song for probably the thousandth time, I told my wife Annette, “I love you just the way you are – most of the time.” Of course, I said in jest, but there’s an element of truth in there.

 Although there are times we have minor skirmishes, beneath it all is an unshakable, loving commitment that neither of us will ever leave. However, anyone who has been deeply involved with someone else for more than a few days recognizes that they have at least a few habits that can be annoying.

It's a wonderful sentiment for Billy to tell his wife that she doesn’t have to change a thing. But the flipside should be that his wife should be willing to make minor changes if some of her attitudes or behaviors are irritating, as should he. I’m not saying someone should deny their basic personality or tremble in fear that they will alienate the other person, but we should humbly acknowledge that we are not perfect. No one is lovable all the time, and I’m deceiving myself if I pretend that there is nothing about me that should change. And I should be willing to do so for my spouse.

Annette and I have been married for 44 years. In all the hundreds of thousands of hours we’ve spent together, I’ve done many things that annoy her. I must be open to considering how I could be more considerate, more thoughtful, and easier to live with. Being willing to make an effort to make the other’s life a bit more pleasant shows respect for both the person and the relationship.

A few weeks ago, Annette and I made a deal. We agreed that we would each identify just two things that we would prefer the other start doing or stop doing.  These were just minor annoyances, and we’re trying to do better in these areas. Of course, I’m not going to tell you what they are!

So, yes, I love Annette just the way she is – most of the time – and she loves me just the way I am – most of the time. Actually, we really do love each other all the time, even when we do things that make us hard to live with. But we’re both trying to shrink the number of times we’re not so likeable.

++++++++++++++ 

“No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.”

1 Corinthians 10:24

• How well do you live out 1 Corinthians 10:24 with those closest to you?

• Do the most important people in your life know that you are committed to them, no matter what? How easy is it for you to verbalize that?

If You See Something, Say Something

Our little town of Wrightwood is nothing like the rest of Southern California. We have only 5,000 residents, no stop lights, and no fast-food restaurants. But we do have snow. Not exactly downtown LA.

We also have a country club. But forget everything you know about country clubs. Ours consists of a sag pond (created by the two sides of the San Adreas Fault that runs directly under it) with thousands of tadpoles, a few tennis courts, a small fitness center, and a snack bar. The closest thing we have to golf is a disc golf course. But one nice feature we do have is the summer Sunday afternoon concert series with blues, jazz or rock groups playing in the pond’s bandshell.

A few weeks ago, as Annette and I were signing in at the main gate to enjoy the music, the young check-in lady turned to Annette and out of the blue said, “You are really pretty.” Annette was slightly taken aback, but then a big smile came over her face as she thanked her for her kind remark.

Why are we so chintzy with our compliments? That comment cost the check-in girl nothing and brightened Annette’s afternoon.

A phrase that came into fashion shortly after the 9/11 terrorist attacks was, “If you see something, say something.” Of course, it was intended to intercept potentially dangerous acts, but let me offer a slight variation:  “If you see something you like or respect, say something.” Why not? Who doesn’t like positive feedback? Everyone gets slammed or criticized when they mess up, so why not offer a counterbalance?

 I meet with many men one-on-one to listen to them, encourage them, let them know that I care about them, and offer input as appropriate. Lately, I’ve been making a point to mention during our meetings at least one positive thing I see in them. It’s usually easy to find something encouraging and specific to say.

For example, if the guy recounts some serious trials he’s facing, I might say, “Obviously, you’re going through a hard time, but I’m impressed by how you’re leaning into it,” or “I know this is hard for your whole family, and I love how you how you’re trying to minimize the impact on your wife.”

If I forget to offer such a comment, I sometimes drop a quick text later that day to remind him of something that impressed me. Better late than never.

I urge you to be on the lookout for how you can express genuine appreciation to those in your world. Like any other new behavior, it might take a while to make this a default piece of your conversations, but once you do, you will be amazed how easy it is to identify positive attitudes and behaviors.

 Various studies suggest that it takes anywhere from three to ten positive comments to counter one negative one. The negative ones always seem to find us. Why not be part of the positive side of that ratio?

If you see something, say something.

Who in the World Was Stuart MacLennan, and Why Should You Care?

Here’s a hint. He was pastor of Hollywood Presbyterian Church early last century. Does this help you figure out why you should care? No? How about this?

Just over 100 years ago, he was guest speaker at a small church in Minneapolis where he met Henrietta Mears, a single, “bookish,” physically impaired high school principal in her 30s who lived with her sister. His message so inspired her that she immediately started meeting and corresponding with him and eventually moved to Southern California to become Christian Education Director at his church, a position she held for nearly 35 years.

This is an impressive story. However, that still doesn’t explain you should get excited about Stuart MacLennan. Let me help you.

During Henrietta Mears’ decades-long tenure at Hollywood Presbyterian, among the people she mentored were:

• Bill and Vonnette Bright – co-founders of Cru and Athletes in Action and the force behind the Jesus film. This film has been translated into 2,166 languages, and estimates are that there have been more than 7.3 billion viewings of the film.

• Dawson Trotman – founder of The Navigators

• Jim Rayburn – founder of Young Life

• Wilbur Smith – cofounder of Fuller Theological Seminary

• Richard Halverson – a future United States Senate chaplain

• Many other Christian leaders and Hollywood celebrities

She also went on to establish Gospel Light Publications and collaborate with leaders of such internationally significant ministries as World Vision, Samaritan’s Purse, and Wycliffe Bible Translators. Beyond that, she was an early leader of the National Association of Evangelicals.

Oh, and then there was a young preacher named Billy Graham whom she discipled and encouraged to stage his 1949 Los Angeles crusade which launched his international ministry.  He once commented that, besides his mother and his wife, Henrietta Mears was the most influential woman in his life.

During my nine years on Cru staff, I often heard about Henrietta Mears and her phenomenal impact. But I never heard of Rev. MacLennan until I recently read an article about Ms. Mears penned by my friend Paul Batura, Vice President of Communications at Focus on the Family. From a human perspective, none of Henrietta Mears’ influence would have happened without Rev. MacLennan. Of course, God could have used someone else to inspire her or someone else to accomplish all she did. But, for whatever reason, God chose to use Stuart MacLennan and Henrietta Mears.

One more thing. My story intersects with Stuart MacLennan in a way I hadn’t realized. In a real sense, I am part of his legacy. He discipled Henrietta Mears, Henrietta Mears discipled Bill Bright, Bill Bright founded Cru, and I came to know Jesus through Cru decades after Henrietta Mears’ first encounter with Rev. MacLennan.

Stuart MacLennan’s legacy serves as an example to us all. If you are in professional ministry, you are undoubtedly helping many people. We all have a tendency to gravitate toward the leaders and superstars. If there had been a web page featuring people seeking to become influencers who would change the face of American Christianity, Henrietta Mears would have gotten almost no “likes.” Yet look how God used her. And it’s largely because Stuart MacLennan looked past her “demographics” and discipled an unlikely lady with a heart for God. Don’t write off people just because they may not be one of the “cool kids.” Jesus certainly didn’t.

If you are not in professional ministry, God can still use you in huge ways. Although Rev. MacLennan was the major influence on Henrietta Mears, there were undoubtedly many others along the way who encouraged her and fed into her life. You can do the same.

Help a Christian struggling with a personal tragedy. Invest time teaching the 10th grade boys’ Sunday School class. Share with a coworker or neighbor what God has done in your life. Any of these actions could have a profound impact on someone’s world. And perhaps God will bring someone into your life with whom you can develop a deep discipleship relationship and who just might go on to have a global impact. You never know how you might be influencing future generations.

My parting challenge is, regardless of how big or small your “reach” is, always be looking for ways to help someone in Jesus’ name and to further God’s kingdom.

The Demise of a Once-Great Cookie Brand

I’ve been a semi-serious cyclist for over 20 years. The highlight of my “cycling career” was a three-day, 225-mile ride through the Colorado Rockies on a Focus on the Family-sponsored fundraiser. Besides the great fellowship and the spectacular scenery, the daily devotional talks by a Focus staff member were a real highlight,

On our second day, the speaker told of a cookie brand that, despite its great start in the late 1970s, gradually lost its edge. At its launch, this brand featured soft, chewy, flavorful cookies and was enthusiastically received.

But, alas, inflation forced the company to make hard decisions about how to remain viable. Rather than raise their prices, it elected to reduce the quality of their ingredients just a bit. Since they feared this might disappoint loyal customers, they conducted taste tests to see if consumers would bolt. Although the test consumers did notice the small changes, these weren’t enough to cause them to bail.

A few years later inflation brought them to the same decision point:  either raise prices or cut costs. Since slightly reducing ingredient quality worked the first time, the company decided to follow the same path. As before, taste testers accepted the change.

Over time, the company kept repeating this strategy, and unfortunately after several rounds of downgrades, the cookies no longer resembled the original, excellent product.

The application of this story is fairly obvious. As Christians, we are called to be as much like Jesus as possible. Although we can never fully attain his perfection, that is the standard to which we are called. When we take our cues from a society that continues its skid from godliness, our morals follow the same trajectory. But we convince ourselves that as long as we’re at least somewhat better than the larger culture, we’re OK.

Moviegoers in 1939 were shocked by Rhett Butler’s declaration to Scarlett O’Hara in Gone with the Wind that he didn’t “give a damn.” Imagine if that audience could be transported to a 2024 movie theater and learn that virtually every movie with a rating higher than PG-13 is filled “F bombs.” The almost-unthinkable from 85 years ago (“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”) would go completely unnoticed today. So, if our standard is only to be slightly better than the culture, as the reference point slides, so do our morals.

The Focus presenter was kind enough to not call out the product by name. But after his talk, I told him privately I thought I knew which cookie he was describing. A friend had introduced me to a great-tasting cookie in the late 1970s, but I had recently bought a package only to discover that the current version was hard and flavorless. “Was that the brand?” I asked. I was right.

As the culture continues to slip away from any serious concept of righteousness, do you feel you’re doing OK since you’re not as bad as what you see around you? But I ask you, are you content with congratulating yourself that you’re just a half step above current societal norms? Or are you, with the help of the Holy Spirit, consistently trying to follow Jesus’ standards?

Are You Listening to the “Wrong” Bible Verses?

I have a theory. I believe that many people gravitate toward Bible verses that are “wrong” for them. Before you label me a heretic, let me be crystal clear. Since the Bible is 100% inspired, inerrant and infallible, in reality there are truly no “wrong” verses. God intentionally placed each one there, and we are to take all of them seriously. All Scripture is God-breathed ( 2 Timothy 3:16-17).

What I mean by reading the wrong verses is that some people gravitate – sometimes in unhelpful ways – toward the sections that reinforce their predisposition while minimizing verses that would round out their conclusions. Let me explain.

The Sermon on the Mount includes these startling statements from Jesus:

• “Unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven” – Matthew 5:20

• “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” – Matthew 5:48

And then, just a few chapters later, he offers these incredibly comforting words which seem to be in tension with his former comments:

• “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” – Matthew 11:28-30.

These statements almost seem contradictory, but they are all simultaneously true. Jesus wants us to live lives that reflect our changed nature once we’ve received his forgiveness of our sins. But he also offers the power to do so through the Holy Spirit, so we don’t have to “grunt it out.”

As I said, my theory is that many people naturally resonate with the verses that align with their temperamental bent while overlooking the “opposite” ones.

For example, I know some very conscientious people who sincerely want to please God in everything they do. But since they are only human and sometimes fail, they constantly beat themselves up. They point to the first two verses from the Sermon on the Mount and say, “See. Jesus’ standard is nothing short of perfection, and I certainly am not perfect. He must constantly be disappointed in me.” These folks need to balance their conscientiousness against Jesus’ invitation to enjoy his rest.

On the other hand, some people lack vigor and prefer to relax in their spiritual hammocks, clutching their “get out of hell free” card and “counting on” Jesus’ easy yoke and light burden. These people should reevaluate the extent to which their behavior truly matches God’s prescribed lifestyle.

Let me recommend two excellent books that focus on each end of the tension created by these verses. Kevin DeYoung states in Impossible Christianity, “One of the reasons Christianity can feel impossible is that is that we’ve concocted a Christianity unsuitable for finite creatures. . . . (W)e are not infinite beings. We have limits – lots of limits, God-given limits . . . We simply cannot do everything.”  My overly conscientious friends would greatly benefit from DeYoung’s encouragement that God knows their heart’s desire to please him and that he understands their failures.

A book at the opposite end of this discussion is Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s classic The Cost of Discipleship in which he rails against what he calls “cheap grace.” “Cheap grace,” says Bonhoeffer, “is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, communion without confession, absolution without personal confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ.” Lackadaisical Christians would do well to weigh their lives in light of this truth.

Both books are must-reads, but I encourage you to start with the one that is the opposite of your natural “bent.” Overly serious Christians should start with Impossible Christianity, while the spiritually flabby should crack open The Cost of Discipleship. Both books have the potential to revolutionize your relationship with God.

"My Chains Are Gone" - What Does This Look Like?

One of my very favorite Christian songs in Chris Tomlin’s version of “Amazing Grace.” To the original verses, Tomlin added an interlude with these lyrics:

My chains are gone, I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love
Amazing grace

The image of broken chains is one of the most common descriptions of the Christian life. But what does this really mean? What does it look like? Can I expect to immediately be freed from my addictions and other major problems?

I want to be very careful here. I fully believe that God can instantly transform someone and save them from a life of alcoholism, drug abuse, sexual addiction, and the like. This does happen. But not usually. More often, God starts someone on a lengthy road that leads to significant changes over time – often many years.

The following picture captures how the transformation process often unfolds. Imagine you are in a locked jail cell, unable to get out on your own. Jesus comes along with the key, unlocks the door, and invites you to leave. The moment the tumblers in the lock click, you have an option you didn’t have before. But you are still in the cell, and you will remain there until and unless you get off the cot, swing the door open, and walk out.

On rare occasions, Jesus will pull the cell door open himself, walk in and carry someone out. But in my experience, this is very much the exception. Instead, he expects us to do our part.

This dynamic reminds me of something I wrote in another blog post from 2021. In a dramatic scene from C.S. Lewis’ The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe one of the children (Peter) had to attack a ferocious wolf that was about to devour his sister Susan.

Peter did not feel very brave; indeed, he felt he was going to be sick. But that made no difference to what he had to do. He rushed straight up to the monster and aimed a slash of his sword at its side.

A nightmarish battle ensues.  But finally, Peter

found that the monster lay dead and he had drawn his sword out of it and was straightening his back and rubbing the sweat off his face and out of his eyes.

Mind you, Aslan, who represents Christ, was right there watching the whole thing. He could have instantly vaporized the wolf, but instead he wanted Peter to experience the growth and exhilaration that comes from facing and attacking a terrifying situation.

So the way I see it, when you enter into a relationship with Jesus, he really does break your chains – or to put it in other terms, unlocks the door on your cell. You’re no longer forced to wallow in whatever it is that traps you. But he wants you to step up and rely on him to help you grew to new heights you could only have imagined. Having the cell door unlocked is just the beginning of a life-long process that allows you to draw on the power of the Holy Spirit to develop your spiritual muscles and become increasingly transformed into the image of Jesus (2 Corinthians 3:18).

Part 2 – Some Christians Miss 2/3 of the Definition of This Word

Last time, I discussed how Christians sometimes correctly understand part of how to apply the definition of “grace” but miss a second aspect. Here’s what they get right:

Meaning 1 – Grace is the basis through which your sins are forgiven and you can begin a relationship with God.

Here’s the part that sometimes gets overlooked.

Meaning 2 – Grace is the basis of your continued relationship with God after you have come to know Jesus. If you try to slavishly follow rules – some of which are not in the Bible – you are either trying to appease or placate God or trying to impress him with your good behavior. This is not living by grace.

But there is a third meaning that is also often lost.

Meaning 3 – Grace describes how you should always treat all people, even those with whom you strongly disagree.

Jesus said that loving our neighbor is right up there with loving God. Here is just a small sample of the many Bible verses that urge acting with grace toward grace others:

• Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt so that you may know how to answer everyone (Colossians 4:6).

• Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse (Romans 12:14).

• Do not repay anyone evil for evil (Romans12:17).

• “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God” (Matthew 5:9).

• “You have heard that it was said, ‘love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. . .” (Matthew 5:43-44).

Living this out gets tricky. Not every one of your neighbors will agree with you. Some may even hate you. Acting graciously is especially challenging if someone’s positions obviously violate God’s standards.

Some Christians feel compelled to passionately– and sometimes angrily – call out people who promote obvious sin. They fear that if they don’t, they are implicitly condoning sin. We should take strong stands on various cultural issues by clearly, firmly, and rationally presenting biblical perspectives. But we should do so with grace, without spiraling into name-calling or hateful words.

The most divisive, polarized decade in our country’s entire history was the 1860s. The bloody Civil War, in which an estimated 620,000 Americans lost their lives, was followed by the equally contentious Reconstruction era where both sides had to grapple with mending the unprecedented divide.  

President Abraham Lincoln’s Second Inaugural Address, delivered a month before the Civil War ended, is widely considered one of the greatest American speeches of all time. In Christian History and Biography magazine, Robert C. White, Jr. comments:

Lincoln’s address provides a model for how Christians can speak of faith and politics together. First, he began by expressing respect for the positions of each side, even those whom his audience would deem the enemy. Second, he grounded his thinking in the Bible, using the Bible not simply as an illustration but as a foundation for his political arguments. Third, he affirmed that God acts in history. . . . Fourth, Lincoln was comfortable with ambiguity. . . . Finally, he spoke not in arrogance but in winsome humility. In the final paragraph of the Second Inaugural, Lincoln offered the ultimate surprise. Instead of rallying his supporters in the name of God to support the war, he asked his listeners, quietly, to imitate the ways of God.

These godly principles ooze grace and are truly brilliant. I can think of no better prescription in today’s world for graciously interacting with those with whom we disagree. John 1:17 states that grace and truth came through Jesus. Both grace and truth are crucial. Grace without truth degenerates into sentimentalism and an “anything goes” mentality. Truth without grace results in harsh judgmentalism.

Many Christians would go to the mat to defend definition 1 of “grace” – the basis of their salvation – but they often ignore or downplay the other two facets. Is this true of you?

May we all fully embrace all three aspects of the word “grace.”

Meet Job Version 2.0

Back in May 2020, I introduced you to a very good friend of mine, Chris Hogg. I mentioned that I didn’t think I had ever known anyone else who has had so many things go wrong, none of which were self-inflicted. Here is the list of woes I mentioned:

·       His mother was an explosive bi-polar, and his father was a narcissist who constantly berated him.

·       His only sibling is a brother who was estranged from the family for years. Chris has a college-aged niece he only recently met.

·       Right before we started getting together, Chris’ wife of twenty years unexpectedly left him for another man.

·       His ex-wife did all she could to turn his children against him. He spent many thousands of dollars and almost two years battling to get custody of his then-school-aged son.

·       On January 30, 2018 Chris came within inches of being crushed to death when another driver performed an illegal U-turn right in front of him, causing a nearly fatal T-bone accident. Chris suffered a traumatic brain injury, major vision damage, significant pain, and multiple other injuries. Most of these problems remain five years later.

At the time, I stated that if there is a “Society of Job” in heaven, Chris will be a shoo-in once he arrives.

Since my last post about Chris, his credentials for joining the “Job Club” have only increased:

·       When Chris had to reign in his father’s reckless spending and take his car keys away for his own safety, his dad reported his to state Department of Family and Child Services for alleged theft and elder abuse.

·       On top of their full-time work responsibilities, Chris and his second wife had to assume nearly-full-time caregiving duties for both his parents as their health declined. Both parents recently died within a few months of each other.

·       Chris’ children and stepchildren have suffered significant personal and health issues, nearly bringing the family to the breaking point. One of his children has a severe medical condition from which she may not recover.

·       Chris’ own health has steadily declined to the point where he can only effectively function for a few hours a day. And he has to be in near complete darkness because of severe photosensitivity, an after-effect of the accident. What’s worse, there are days when he has trouble even getting his words out because of the traumatic brain injury.

·       About two years ago, Chris’ high-end camper was destroyed in a freak accident when the building it was stored in burned to the ground.

·       Last December, Chris contracted a mysterious eye infection which resulted in additional scarring and has further compromised his vision.

·       Besides the direct physical fallout from the truck accident, Chris has other ailments including a torn rotator cuff (brought on by his decades as a building contractor) and kidney cysts. He recently had a knee replacement and said he has never experienced this level of pain before, even from the accident. That’s quite a statement from someone who has suffered as much as he has.

A couple of months ago, I heard him complain for one of the first times. If it were me, my complaint undoubtedly would have included the entire list of everything mentioned above.

But what was Chris upset about? “I’m afraid all my physical needs are stealing my wife’s life from her.” Unbelievable! That was what was weighing most heavily on him – not his personal pain, not his reduced ability to work, not a sense that God was being unfair to him. He was most concerned about the impact of his needs on his wife!

When Annette and I visited Atlanta in June, I had the delightful experience of spending two hours over bagels and coffee with Chris. His genuine smile in this picture reflects his peaceful trust in Jesus despite unimaginable hardships. As he walked to his truck, Chris’ parting words to me were, “I’m super thankful, and I’m so blessed. This isn’t my permanent condition. Eternity will be a whole lot different and a whole lot better.”

I hold him up to you as one of the most incredible people I have ever met, not to make you feel guilty if you aren’t as upbeat as he is, but as an inspirational role model. He exemplifies trust in God, faithfulness, and humility like few I know. Next time you are tempted to complain about your rough circumstances or doubt God’s goodness, think about Chris and ask God to give you just a fraction of the grace he has blessed Chris with.

Cut It Out! Please!

A few weeks ago, the Internet was set ablaze over what many considered a scandalous development regarding the internationally acclaimed streaming TV series called “The Chosen.” Headlines screamed things like, “The Pride Flag Flies Proudly On The Chosen Set?” There were even photoshopped images of Dallas Jenkins (the series’ producer) and the actor who portrays Jesus superimposed on an LGBT+ flag. Many saw this development as the producers endorsing the LGBT+ agenda, an unforgivable betrayal of the Bible’s teaching on marriage.

Let me be clear. I am a follower of Jesus who believes the Bible is the inspired, inerrant, infallible word of God and that salvation is available only through Jesus. And I believe I have a highly attuned “heresy detector” and can readily spot teachings that undermine the heart of the Christian message.

Having said this, I am weary of Christians who seem to delight in finding blasphemy where none exists and stirring up needless, destructive controversy. There are a few very minor things about “The Chosen” I might do differently, but it is absolutely God-honoring and is bolstering the faith of millions worldwide.

Dallas Jenkins produced a short video response about this controversy in which he does a great job of:

1. Exposing the exaggeration and even misrepresentation of this LBGT+ flag firestorm. The fact is it wasn’t a flag at all, and it wasn’t “flying” over anything. It was a small 3” sticker an independent contractor had on his personal equipment that happened to be on the set.

2. Explaining that, as a private company and not a church or ministry, “The Chosen” does not practice content censorship of independent contractors they employ. As he says in the video, “The Chosen” does not in any way endorse the LGBT+ agenda but neither does it suppress the personal views of its cast and crew. He points out that Christians are rightly upset when the shoe is on the other foot, and they are prohibited from expressing their faith views in the workplace and other public settings.

I recently had a similar thing as this LGBT+ flag controversy happen to me. Back in 2007, I was blessed to have my book THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION:  WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR FAITH IS CHALLENGED published by David C. Cook publishers. And I was further blessed that renowned apologetics expert Ravi Zacharias wrote a strong endorsement that appears on the front cover.

Last month, someone contacted me and told me they were going to buy my book until they saw Ravi's endorsement and asked if I could remove it.

The answer is no for three reasons: 

1. Since the books were printed in 2007, there is no way to remove his statement from the front cover.

2. Ravi's personal problems were extremely unfortunate and left a huge blemish on his life and ministry. However, his personal moral failures don’t negate his intellectual skills as an apologist for the Christian faith. I have sin in my life and the person who wanted to remove Ravi's endorsement undoubtedly has sin in their life. Does that mean no one can attempt to represent God or make public statements about the faith until they are sinless? As Jesus said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" (John 8:7).

3. I had absolutely nothing to do with Ravi's unfortunate personal behavior. I never met the man, nor did I reference any of his works in my book. Do his private problems in any way invalidate my book’s content? I think not.

So, no. The endorsement is not being removed.

To my fellow Christians, PLEASE quit straining out gnats and swallowing camels (Matthew 23:24). I am 100% for doctrinal purity on the core points of Jesus' deity, our inability to live up to God's standards on our own, and the need to trust in Jesus' sacrificial death as the only way to salvation. But we should be about promoting the message of Jesus' love and forgiveness and the need to follow him, not looking to condemn everyone who does not hold identical views as we do on EVERY SINGLE aspect of Christian doctrine and life.

Thanks for letting me ventilate!

Why Do I Keep Doing This? Two Reasons I Anticipated and Two I Didn’t

This post represents a milestone – my 100th article. My first post from June 21, 2017 was called, “Two Ways Not to Pray and One Way to Pray.”  Now, almost exactly six years later, I’m hitting triple digits.

Committing myself to write on a regular basis has been a fun – but time-consuming – exercise. I typically mull my ideas over for a couple of weeks before I sit down to write, and then I review and revise my articles many, many times. The total process of writing, revising, and posting typically takes about 20 hours.

Why do I spend so much time blogging? Originally, I had two reasons, but in the six years since I began, I realized two other benefits I hadn’t thought of.

Here are my two original reasons:

1.      I feel I have something to say. Over my decades knowing Jesus, God has brought me miles in my Christian walk as I have wrestled with hundreds of issues, both theological and practical. At the risk of being presumptuous, I feel these ideas are worth sharing.

2.      In today’s “Christian marketplace,” it’s easier to be taken seriously as a speaker and an author if you can point to numerous articles and followers.

I’ve only more recently recognized these other two reasons to keep writing:

1.      Great comments and feedback from readers. Duh! Why didn’t I see this coming? Blog posts often generate reader feedback, and I love hearing your reactions and suggestions. I appreciate every “like,” but the feedback I especially value comes from people I know personally when I know they don’t necessarily share all my views on faith.

I have always been a bridge-builder. Back in my college days, the Syracuse University chaplain hosted weekly Wednesday morning donut discussion breakfasts. The chaplain didn’t have a particularly high view of the Bible and didn’t believe that the only way to establish a relationship with God is through Jesus.

We had a regular pool about 15 attendees including a Buddhist, an agnostic, a New Age adherent, someone dabbling with the occult, and several other very interesting characters. I was the only one who identified as a Bible-believing Christian. But guess what? I very seldom quoted Bible verses, and I never made fiery statements condemning behavior the Bible speaks against. I understood the mindsets of the others and studiously avoided giving them cause to reinforce their negative stereotypes of Christians.

This is not to say I wimped out. I regularly referenced biblical principles and explained why certain behaviors are either inappropriate or unwise. I discussed clear biblical values, but I consciously avoided using religious jargon or reinforcing my fellow students’ unfavorable expectations.

It’s impossible to measure my comments’ impact, but I truly believe God used me to make inroads with people who probably had few other conversations with thoughtful Christians. Let me be clear. There are times to be very direct in our sharing of the gospel. However, when you have ongoing contact with people skeptical about Christianity, a more gentle and nuanced approach can be more effective.

I try to take a similar bridge-building approach with my blogposts. And based on feedback, I believe I am helping some people to rethink their views of Jesus.

2.      The benefits of the discipline of writing. Trying to be concise has forced me to crystallize my thoughts and consider if I am stating my case in a theologically precise and accurate way. This helps me clarify my sometimes-cloudy thoughts and arrive at fully developed conclusions I can thoroughly “own.” This creates the odd situation of ministering to myself with my own words when I face new challenges and get to remind myself of the conclusions I had previously written about.

Since I always like to offer my readers a couple of takeaways, here are two:

1.      Think through how you approach your spiritual conversations with people with whom you have ongoing contact.

2.      Consider committing your thoughts to writing, perhaps through journaling or even starting a blog. The process can help you solidify your own spiritual thoughts.

What Lies Beneath the Surface Can Be Surprising

During my 19 years as Executive Vice President at Georgia Hospital Association, I often met with senior leaders of other state hospital associations. One such trip took me to Austin, home of the University of Texas. My book That’s a Great Question:  What to Say When your Faith Is Challenged had recently come out, and because I knew I was going to be in Austin, I contacted one of the UT campus ministries about possibly introducing the concepts in my book to their students. I was pleased that they invited me to speak at their graduate student monthly meeting.

During the meal that preceded my presentation, I met several students and was highly impressed by their highly specialized academic disciplines:  molecular biology, forensic science, quantum physics, and some I had never heard of. I chatted at length over dinner with one young man who detailed the rigorous research requirements for his Ph.D. in genetics. I felt somewhat intimidated at the thought of addressing such a highly educated group and felt relief when my talk was well-received.

As I was packing up, the ministry leader commented that he noticed my dinner conversation with the genetics student. “I was amazed at his intellect and determination,” I commented. “Well, there’s something about him you don’t know,” he said. “About two months ago, even though he is Christian, he attempted suicide after a difficult romantic break-up. He spent several days in an inpatient facility, and although he’s doing better now, he’s still pretty fragile.”

This was one of those moments when the world seemed to shift on its axis. His unseen struggle was worlds away from my somewhat self-centered fear that I might not come across as a qualified speaker. I realized that despite his impressive accomplishments and the shiny façade of academic excellence, he – just like all the other scholars – has the same emotional and spiritual needs that everyone else has.

I’ve had thousands of spiritual conversations over my decades as a Christian, and I can confidently say that I have never met a single person – even the most seemingly “together” people – who doesn’t have some kind of deep personal, medical, vocational, financial, emotional, inter-personal, or some other kind of need. This realization has two implications:

·       Although I should certainly act respectfully and if appropriate express great admiration for even the most impressive people – and everyone else for that matter – there is no reason to grovel. Recognizing that the other person undoubtedly has some kind of deep need, even if it is not obvious, puts me on equal footing with them as a fellow human.

·       The awareness that the other person has needs means that I could potentially have a ministry to them. Jesus has changed my life, and he can do the same for them. But I must approach the opportunity humbly, recognizing my own feet of clay. This allows me to empathize with their circumstances and weaknesses. Of course, I must respect their privacy and should only attempt this type of relationship if I am invited to do so. And I certainly will not have an opportunity to get personal with everyone I meet. Nor should I try to.

Try to keep these thoughts in mind as you interact with others on a daily basis. Not every encounter will lead to a ministry opportunity, but you may be surprised at the impact you can have on others if you stay alert for openings.

When God Leads You Down a Dead End

On April 21, 2019, VidAngel Studios released Season 1 of the groundbreaking streaming TV series The Chosen. It’s an extremely creative, compelling, and respectful portrayal of Jesus and his followers. If you have not yet seen this series, you should download the free The Chosen app or the Angel Studios app.

After viewing the first episode, Annette and I were thoroughly hooked. We learned in the fall of 2020 that the producers were inviting The Chosen’s fans and supporters to be extras for the Sermon on the Mount episode to be filmed in Dallas in February 2021. Annette and I jumped at the chance!

Each extra was responsible to make their own outfits. The producers sent very specific instructions, and Annette spent several weeks gathering the necessary materials. Because her sewing machine couldn’t handle the project, she even had to buy a new one. All told, she probably spent the better part of a week and close to $500 making the costumes.

Since the filming was right in the middle of Covid-19’s huge surge, all participants had to bring proof of a negative Covid test performed within 72 hours of arrival. Of course, we complied. But guess what? My test came back positive, so the whole thing was off. All that time and money was essentially wasted. Well not entirely. We have killer outfits if we ever have to go to a costume party 😊.

But still, it was a dead end.

This was not the first time a curveball brought what seemed to be a legitimate, God-led venture to a screeching halt. On two separate occasions, some ministry experts unexpectedly approached me about outreach opportunities they were convinced would have a big impact. Because these were unsolicited suggestions by people with proven track records, I overcame my initial skepticism and concluded these initiatives must be from the Lord.  Subsequently, I spent hundreds and hundreds of hours developing each concept.

In the end, they both fizzled and yielded virtually nothing. Dead ends.

How should I interpret these experiences? In all three cases, I felt God was leading me to pursue them. But if that were true, why would he lead me down extremely time-consuming dead ends? 

Of course, no one can read God’s mind. But I believe these experiences are part of our refinement and growth processes. Over the years, I have seen that God often does dramatic and even miraculous things for people when they first come to know Christ. Because his ultimate goal for us is to grow increasingly dependent on him and learn to trust him completely, at some point, he takes the training wheels off to see if we’re only following him because of his dramatic interventions.

This type of testing reveals how well you trust him even when things don’t make sense or go our way. It always helps when – in hindsight – you can look back to figure out what God was trying to accomplish through a confusing circumstance or a disappointment.

Perhaps the best-known example of God’s testing is the request he made of Abraham in Genesis 22.  Even though God promises he will give Abraham countless descendants through his son Isaac and Isaac was still a minor, God tells Abraham to kill him. That makes no sense. How could Isaac be the father of multitudes if he dies so young? Nevertheless, Abraham is willing to obey. But God stops him and even graciously explains what he was up to:  “Do not lay a hand on the boy. . . . Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your only son” (Genesis 22:12).

So, Abraham gets to see what God was really doing. By way of contrast, Job never gets any explanation for the calamities he faces. After Job complains for a couple of chapters about his crushing circumstances, God finally responds, but his answer is, essentially, “Who are you to question me?” That’s all he gets.

This shows that sometimes God gives us a peek behind the curtain, and sometimes he doesn’t. As I said, his ultimate goal is to teach us to trust him more and more. And he orchestrates the circumstances of our lives – including disasters and dead ends – to accomplish that.

Here are a few questions:

• Have you ever felt God led you down a dead-end road?

• If so, how did you react?

• After your initial disappointment, were you able to reach the point of ultimately being OK even if you were never able to understand the “why”?

When You Get a Preview of Your Own Funeral

Two months ago, Phillip Oh, a fellow church elder, died unexpectedly. At his memorial service three weeks ago, so many people offered loving, heartfelt tributes highlighting Phillip’s impact on their lives that the service lasted two hours.

Eight days later, our pastor Craig Bowler unexpectedly called Annette and me to the very same stage from which Phillip’s friends spoke to pray over us. After 27 years in Georgia, we were about to move to California to be near our kids and grandkids. I don’t typically stand before a couple hundred people boo-hooing, but Craig’s very kind words and the realization that we would be leaving so many dear friends caused both Annette and me to lose it.

Over the last few weeks, people have showered us with incredible expressions of love. I knew how my close friends feel about me, but I was surprised by similar comments from people I barely know. I had no idea that anything I had ever said or done had any impact on them whatsoever.

And as we sifted through boxes of files and keepsakes collected over the decades preparing for the move, I came across some letters from people I hadn’t thought about in years. These notes recounted specific times when God used me to help someone grow in their faith or offer a word of encouragement.

Coincidently, while all this was going on, Pastor Craig hosted a men’s fellowship breakfast to encourage our men to develop solid relationships with other men. To that end, he taped a conversation I had with my best friend Billy Burke. Here’s a link to our brief discussion:

  https://vimeo.com/766626339/bee8d319b4 - Copy and paste into a browser

Billy’s generous words further primed the “encouragement pump,” prompting others who saw the video to come forward with additional words of affirmation.

I’m thankful I didn’t have to wait to die to hear so many encouraging thoughts 😊. Some of you reading this are among the people who offered kind expressions, and for that I sincerely thank you.

As I reflect on the last few weeks, I realize that many loving words are often left unspoken while someone is alive. However, in my case, I was blessed by getting a glimpse of what my funeral might look like.

Here are two takeaways:

1. Be encouraged. Your impact on others is probably greater than you realize. You may never get any specific feedback from that neighbor you helped over the years, those fourth graders in your Sunday School class, that coworker you helped introduce to Jesus, or countless others you have affected over the years. But you have undoubtedly made a difference in many people’s lives.

2. Reach out right now to those who have helped or encouraged you in some special way to thank them. I can’t tell you how much it means to me to learn how God has used me in ways of which I was completely unaware. Don’t wait for that person’s funeral when it’s too late.

Of course, I have no idea when my funeral will be, who will be there, or what they will say. And the fact that Annette and I moved 2,200 miles away from our Georgia friend base means it’s unlikely that many of my old friends will attend. But they don’t have to. They have already blessed me by telling me face to face what I have meant to them. I urge you to go and do likewise.

I Know You Can’t Read It, So Let Me Tell You What This Card Says

The ink has almost completely faded from this somewhat-crumpled, yellowed, water-stained 3x5 card dated September 5, 1972. You can barely make out the important words I wanted to share with you on the card’s fiftieth anniversary. (I missed the actual date by a few weeks because of our unexpected decision to sell our Marietta, GA house several years earlier than we thought. The last month has been a whirlwind!)

The card reads:

Lord Jesus,

Anything

              Anytime

                              Anywhere

  I relinquish all control of my life to you.

And in the upper right-hand corner, I wrote:  “Baptized Sunday, September 12”

This was the fall of my senior year at Syracuse University. (I’ll save you from having to do the math. That makes me 71 years old.) Several of our church’s college students had responded to an invitation to be baptized on September 12, 1972. Initially, I didn’t plan to move forward because I felt I would just be doing it because it was the “thing to do.” However, on the Tuesday before the baptism service, I felt the Lord specifically tell me this was the time.

This card has followed me around the country for the last fifty years and was thumbtacked to a couple of different bulletin boards before finding a more permanent home on the inside lid of the box that holds my keys, coins, and other pocket-paraphernalia. It’s somewhat shocking to see what fifty years does to a formerly crisp, white 3x5 card and solid blue ink. I hope time hasn’t taken a similar toll on my body.

But it’s incredibly encouraging to see what God has done in my life during those same fifty years. I shudder to think where I would be had Jesus not singled me out from among my dysfunctional, emotionally abusive family members to transform me into a (more) stable, healthy person. Although I didn’t have any major self-destructive habits, I certainly had little idea of what loving, selfless living looks like. And I was not on track to find out.

I don’t want to imply that the last half century has been constant bliss characterized by rainbows and butterflies or that I have always instantly appreciated all God was doing in my life. Along with incredible blessings on many, many fronts – including marriage, children, health, ministry, friendships, career, and finances – I have also experienced periods of confusion and disappointment. He has done some things I still don’t understand or particularly like. But, he is God and I’m not, and he sometimes orchestrates things to put me off balance to help me see how I need to trust him in new ways. And for the record, my behavior over the last five decades hasn’t been exactly without question either.

In the end, I have learned what’s truly necessary is trusting God and accepting his will, even in those situations that may not seem to make total sense. Since what I REALLY deserve is condemnation because of my sin, how dare I think that God owes me anything, including justification for his actions? Absolutely everything good thing I have comes from his grace and love, and he has filled my life with great joy and even some miracles.

On this anniversary, I wanted to communicate to you that I have absolutely no regrets about having told God so many years ago that he can have it all. And, if you have never done this, I urge you to consider doing the same.

Is This How You Want to Be Remembered?

Aunt Martha was my mother’s sister’s husband’s sister. Did you follow that? Because she lived fairly far away, we didn’t see her all that often. She passed away many years ago, but here are the three things I remember about her:

• She was a big woman, both physically and personality-wise – the type you didn’t miss when she entered the room.

• ·She drove an early 1960s, fern green, boaty-floaty Chrysler Imperial with rounded tailfins.

• ·When her parents died, she manipulated things so that she cheated the rest of her family out of about $10,000.

The story goes that Aunt Martha took her mother to lunch one day in the late 1960s and on the way home stopped at an attorney’s office to have her mother change her will, making Aunt Martha the sole beneficiary of her estate. Aunt Martha’s brother exploded when he learned this, and he refused to ever speak to her again and forbade the rest of his family to have any contact with her.

Ten thousand dollars was a lot of money back then and would be equivalent to several times that today. I wonder what she did with that money and if she felt her unethical behavior was worth the cost to her relationships and reputation. I’m guessing her financial “mental model” focused almost entirely on trying to maximize money coming in, and she saw changing the will as a way to enhance that.

We often interpret an unanticipated bonus, a surprise birthday check, or an unforeseen class action settlement as a godsend. But God also blesses us by NOT allowing potentially bad things to happen. For example, that time your slammed on your brakes at 65 mph and just missed hitting the car in front of you by four inches could have easily ended in financial loss or, worse, personal injury. Did you acknowledge that as an example of God’s grace?

My point is that people like Aunt Martha can so focus on getting all they can – sometimes by unethical means – that they fail to see the bigger picture how God provides in other ways beyond the cash that makes its way to your checking account. And remember his blessings extend well beyond the monetary to include relationships, enjoyment of his creation, and countless other pleasures of life.

You should also acknowledge that it’s not just money that corrupts. Many people go to great lengths chasing power and prestige. There is nothing inherently wrong with money, power, or influence as long as you pursue them in healthy, appropriate ways. But there is a definite line you can cross when you drift into scheming and selfishness.

People who connive and maneuver for ill-gotten gain live as if God isn’t real. He wants his people to trust him, live in a way that reflects well on him, and bless others. Among the 12 characteristics of people who please God as recorded in Psalm 15 are those who:

• Have a blameless walk

• Do what is righteous

• Don’t wrong other people

• Keep their oaths even when it hurts

Unfortunately, when I think about Aunt Martha, I don’t think she lived that way.

How about you? How well do you live up to Psalm 15’s model?

I Was Stunned When I Read This Statement from Someone Who Should Know Better

The recent Supreme Court ruling that reverses Roe v. Wade may end up being THE top story of 2022. It has unleashed from both sides a flood of emotion-laden tweets, blog posts, and articles.

Right after the decision was announced, I came across a column that left me speechless. The writer is a top official – the Associate General Minister of Justice and Local Church Ministries – in a denomination I belonged to when I was in high school. Historically, this denomination has had less faith in the Bible’s authority than I have.

The column’s writer is a long-time abortion rights advocate and explains why she considers pro-life Christians hypocritical. Space does not allow me to discuss all her arguments, but I do have to comment on something she said that made my jaw drop:

The right to choose is part of our God-given inalienable rights. As a Christian, the creation story says it’s the right of every human being to have choice – that God gives us choice. GOD DOESN’T EVEN MANDATE WORSHIP. GOD DOESN’T EVEN MANDATE OBEDIENCE TO GOD. Human beings have the right to make these decisions for themselves, and women shouldn’t have to jeopardize their lives because they make such a decision (emphasis added).

I had to read this paragraph a few times to make sure I was reading correctly. In one sense, she is right. God doesn’t FORCE US to worship or be obedient to him. But, from cover to cover, the Bible teaches that we were designed to know God and worship him.

• The very first of the Ten Commandments states: “I am the Lord your God. . . . You shall have no other God’s before me” (Exodus 20:2-3).  Sounds like worship and obedience to me.

• Psalm 100:2 instructs us to “Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.”

• Jesus, referencing Deuteronomy 6:13, says, “It is written:  Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only” (Matthew 4:10)

There is no doubt that God created us to worship him. And part of worshiping is obeying him. Jesus himself says, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teachings” (John 14:23). So, technically, the author is correct. God gives us the choice to worship and obey him or not. But EVERYTHING in the Bible teaches we should.

Does the fact that we can choose something make it an acceptable option? Here are some choices to ponder:

• Cain CHOSE to kill his brother Abel.

• Idi Amin CHOSE to slaughter, by some estimates, up to 300,000 of his fellow Ugandans.

• Just this week, a young man CHOSE to open fire on a 4th of July parade in Highland Park, Illinois.

Let me close by relating a very personal brush with the nonsensical and even dangerous nature of this reasoning.

Unfortunately, my only sibling, an older brother, suffered from schizophrenia, and he ended up committing suicide by hanging while a patient in a Virginia mental hospital. My wife, kids and I went down there for his memorial service. During the service, my dad – who throughout his whole adult life CHOSE to reject virtually every conventional societal norm – gave a talk celebrating choices. He described how his own father CHOSE to end his life by jumping in front of a train. And then he explained my brother made a similar choice to kill himself

This talk was wrong on three levels.

1. My dad's comments and logic were exactly parallel to what this pastor said in her column:  We have the right to make any choice we want to. Neither my dad nor the pastor placed any limits on our choices.

2. My dad made these remarks in a room filled with mental hospital patients. Do you think his comments could have given permission to or even encouraged some of the mentally unstable patients to follow my brother's example?

3. My kids (who were 11 and 9 at the time) were supposed to be at the service. There is no way I was going to let them hear that it was OK that their Uncle Gary chose to end his life. Right before the service, I got wind of what my dad was going to say and asked my wife Annette to take them out of the room when my dad was getting ready to talk. 

Yes, choices are wonderful, as long as they are made within the boundaries God has established. God help us if a senior leader of a large Christian denomination can so thoroughly turn the core message of the Bible – that we were created to love, worship and obey God – on its head to elevate our ability to choose above life itself and above worshiping God!

The ABSOLUTE BEST Bible Passage for Resolving an Age-Old Debate

NOTE: Since this message from January 24, 2018 is one of my favorites, I am repeating it .

God has blessed me with wonderful Christian friends from various faith traditions:  Presbyterian, Methodist, Catholic, Baptist, Charismatic, non-denominational, Wesleyan, and others.  Although we all agree on the central issues of the faith – what C. S. Lewis would call “mere Christianity” – we sometimes have different “takes” on certain principles of Christian living.  

A core issue for believers concerns how “demanding” we can be in prayer.  Jesus himself promised several times that we can ask anything of God and expect him to answer as long as these prayers are “claimed” in the context of God’s sovereignty.  After all, he is the God of the universe, and I’m not, so he may have outcomes I can’t see from my limited perspective.

But this raises a vexing problem.  How can I pray confidently, expecting an answer not knowing if what I’m asking is really God’s will?

Some Christians stress our unfettered access to our loving heavenly father and boldly ask for miraculous interventions.  If you extrapolate this position to the extreme, it can almost border on the “name it and claim it” false theology – insisting that God apply one of his promises exactly the way I want it to look.  

Other Christians are more reserved and, following Jesus’ example in the garden, stress prayer’s “nevertheless, not my will but yours” aspect.  Taken to an extreme, this position approaches “practical deism.”   That is, although I ask God to intervene on my behalf, I really don’t expect him to do anything, so he more or less becomes a non-entity in my daily life.

How do we resolve this tension between perhaps being presumptuous on the one hand and being “of little faith” on the other?  

There is no better Bible passage to address this than Daniel 3:17-18.  Enemies of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego ratted them out to Babylonian King Nebuchadnezzar for not worshipping the golden image the king had set up.  The penalty?  Incineration in a furnace hot enough to instantly kill the soldiers who threw the three into it.

Given one last chance to reconsider, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego answered:

“If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it . . . .  But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”   

That’s it!  The perfect blend of believing God’s power and a willingness to continue trusting him even if his will doesn’t match my personal agenda.  If God could make the Milky Way and the Grand Canyon, and if he could bring Jesus back from death, certainly he is able to suspend the laws of nature to preserve the three from the flames.  But will he?  I can and should ask for the miraculous, but God may be after other things.  That’s his business.  My job is to trust him even if my prayers are not answered precisely as I think they should be.  So ask away, and rejoice regardless of the outcome.  

Thank you for this transformational insight, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego!

When a Big Deal Issue Suddenly Dissolves

During the summers between each of my college years, I worked as a counselor at the Dorothy P. Flint 4-H Camp in rural eastern Long Island. I loved that place, largely because of the great counselors on staff.

The fall after my first 4-H summer, I had the lifechanging experience of realizing that my stereotype of Christianity was all wrong. I thought you became a Christian by cleaning up your act and trying harder to be good. But I learned there’s nothing you can do to meet God’s standard of perfection. That’s pretty discouraging!

But there’s a good-news solution for this problem. Jesus died to take upon himself the penalty I deserve for falling short of God’s standards. That’s what Good Friday is all about! (By the way, I don’t even live up to my own standards.) Becoming a Christian involves acknowledging my sin, asking for the forgiveness Jesus offers, and inviting him to run things from now on. 

Coming into that relationship with him was truly revolutionary, and I wanted all my 4-H friends to experience this too.

As it turns out, about the same time I became a Christian, Jerry, one of the other counselors, had also found a new belief system – the Bahá'í faith. Bahá'ís recognize the validity of nine different great world religions and believe the latest prophet of God was a man named Bahá'u'lláh, a 19th Century Iranian. Since I don’t have the space to discuss the considerable differences between Christianity and the Bahá'í faith, let me just say they are not compatible.

The first I ever heard of the Bahá'í faith was from Jerry, and I was intrigued to learn more, probably for two reasons. As a relatively new Christian, I wanted to make sure I had hitched my wagon to the right star. Plus, I wanted to learn more about Jerry’s new faith so I could help him understand that the Bahá'í faith and Christianity are irreconcilable. So, I did a fair amount of research into this group over the next few years.

But then something happened.

I heard through the grapevine that after a few years, Jerry had rethought his belief system and no longer followed the Bahá'í faith. In an instant, this faith became a total non-issue for me. The only reason I originally cared about it was so I could have more meaningful conversations with my friend, but now none of that mattered.

As I’ve thought about this experience, I realized it offers a tiny, tiny glimpse of what the future holds for Christians. Our would is plagued by the pandemic, death, poverty, war, racism, hatred, and a host of other tragedies. But we know that some day all this will end. Anyone who has trusted Jesus to forgive their sins can anticipate spending eternity with him in heaven. Of course, we can’t fully comprehend what that will be like. But the New Testament describes what it will be like in the new heaven and earth:

He will wipe every tear from [his people’s] eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away (Revelation 21:4).

I don’t want to minimize our current afflictions, but the implication of this truth is that, just like the Bahá'í faith became instantly irrelevant to me, all my problems – physical ailments, relational problems, financial woes, discouragement, the fear of death, and every other concern – will someday only be a distant memory. How awesome is that!

But I should point out that this future only applies to those who have trusted Jesus to forgive their sins. Although Jesus clearly and repeatedly offered incredible truths about God’s love, he also stressed that many are headed for a horrific future. Of Jesus’ 40 parables, 18 (or nearly half) clearly teach that some are destined for eternal separation from God. In fact, he seemed to go out of his way introduce the concept of hell right in the middle of his most uplifting messages. The sharp right turn is almost shocking, and some people try to explain away his teaching about God’s judgment. But keep in mind that it’s a pretty bad idea to reject what Jesus clearly taught.

I truly hope that you will experience the blessings of a tearless, painless future free from death and disease when the “big deals” of this life melt away. And Happy Easter!

What Is Your Passion Really Costing You?

It’s one of the most spectacular things I have ever seen in someone’s house. In fact, the only other time I saw a similar item was on a visit to the New York Historical Society Museum in Manhattan.

As I walked into my brother-in-law Frank’s family room, my eyes were drawn to a thirty-inch-long model of a steam locomotive and coal car. “What in the world is that?” I asked.

“It’s a working model of Baldwin 0-6-0 locomotive my grandfather built in 1935. He machined all the parts himself, and it’s fully functional. He used to have a track in his yard that it would run on. The thing is made of brass and steel, and it weighs about 45 pounds. He made a total of five locomotives over a period of forty years, all of them of different models. This was his first, and it’s actually the simplest of the five.”

“That’s crazy!” I said. “I can’t believe anyone could make one if these, let along five! How did you end up with it?”

“When my grandfather died in 1985, my grandmother gave it to me . . . because she hated it.”

“What!?” I exclaimed. “It’s amazing! How could she hate something so awesome?”

“Well,” he said, “most weekends, my grandfather would drive from his home in Southern Pines, NC to nearby Aberdeen to check and double-check his measurements so he could build exact scaled-down replica. Instead of being a real dad to his kids, he spent hours and hours and hours working on those locomotives Because of her husband’s neglect, my grandmother wanted nothing to do with any of them after he died, so I got this one.”

What a story! As an uniformed outsider, I was incredibly impressed by the locomotive’s beauty, craftsmanship and precision. I could no more produce something like that than I could run a 100-mile ultramarathon. Little did I know the dark side of Frank’s grandfather’s achievement.

We hear a lot these days about “following your passions,” and the word “passionate” shows up on many resumes. I’m in no way suggesting that you should not be fully committed to what you do. God intends you to live life to the max, and that includes thrusting yourself headlong into his calling on your life.

High achievers are driven to excellence, and that’s wonderful, as long as their activities don’t suck up the rest of their lives. In the world of entrepreneurship and startups, founders must dedicate countless hours trying to prevent their dream from ending up in an ash heap. There may be seasons that require intense focus, but if those periods merge into each other and last year after year, you just may live to regret it.

In the case of Frank’s grandfather, his “passion” lasted four decades, and, in his wife’s eyes, it cost him much more than the steel and brass used to fabricate his masterpieces.

I’m reminded of Jesus’ words in Luke 9:25:  “What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?” Although the immediate context refer to Jesus’ requirement to follow him completely, I think one aspect of doing that is by living a balanced life that honors Jesus and appropriately prioritizes your responsibilities, not allowing your pet interests to overshadow what really matters.

What do you think?