When You Get a Preview of Your Own Funeral
Two months ago, Phillip Oh, a fellow church elder, died unexpectedly. At his memorial service three weeks ago, so many people offered loving, heartfelt tributes highlighting Phillip’s impact on their lives that the service lasted two hours.
Eight days later, our pastor Craig Bowler unexpectedly called Annette and me to the very same stage from which Phillip’s friends spoke to pray over us. After 27 years in Georgia, we were about to move to California to be near our kids and grandkids. I don’t typically stand before a couple hundred people boo-hooing, but Craig’s very kind words and the realization that we would be leaving so many dear friends caused both Annette and me to lose it.
Over the last few weeks, people have showered us with incredible expressions of love. I knew how my close friends feel about me, but I was surprised by similar comments from people I barely know. I had no idea that anything I had ever said or done had any impact on them whatsoever.
And as we sifted through boxes of files and keepsakes collected over the decades preparing for the move, I came across some letters from people I hadn’t thought about in years. These notes recounted specific times when God used me to help someone grow in their faith or offer a word of encouragement.
Coincidently, while all this was going on, Pastor Craig hosted a men’s fellowship breakfast to encourage our men to develop solid relationships with other men. To that end, he taped a conversation I had with my best friend Billy Burke. Here’s a link to our brief discussion:
https://vimeo.com/766626339/bee8d319b4 - Copy and paste into a browser
Billy’s generous words further primed the “encouragement pump,” prompting others who saw the video to come forward with additional words of affirmation.
I’m thankful I didn’t have to wait to die to hear so many encouraging thoughts 😊. Some of you reading this are among the people who offered kind expressions, and for that I sincerely thank you.
As I reflect on the last few weeks, I realize that many loving words are often left unspoken while someone is alive. However, in my case, I was blessed by getting a glimpse of what my funeral might look like.
Here are two takeaways:
Be encouraged. Your impact on others is probably greater than you realize. You may never get any specific feedback from that neighbor you helped over the years, those fourth graders in your Sunday School class, that coworker you helped introduce to Jesus, or countless others you have affected over the years. But you have undoubtedly made a difference in many people’s lives.
Reach out right now to those who have helped or encouraged you in some special way to thank them. I can’t tell you how much it means to me to learn how God has used me in ways of which I was completely unaware. Don’t wait for that person’s funeral when it’s too late.
Of course, I have no idea when my funeral will be, who will be there, or what they will say. And the fact that Annette and I moved 2,200 miles away from our Georgia friend base means it’s unlikely that many of my old friends will attend. But they don’t have to. They have already blessed me by telling me face to face what I have meant to them. I urge you to go and do likewise.