Why It’s a Bad Idea to Second-Guess Your Decisions Demystifying Decision-Making – Part 2
Last time, I recommended a decision-making process that involves:
Committing the decision to God through prayer
Looking to Scripture to make sure the particular choice conforms to God’s ethical and moral standards
Thoroughly investigating each alternative
Seeking insights from wise, credible, and trusted friends and colleagues
Determining if circumstances may be pointing in a certain direction
Then I made the somewhat controversial assertion that, if you have followed this process and are truly willing to follow God’s will as you understand it, then you can move forward confidently knowing you are doing what God wants even if subsequent circumstances prove catastrophic.
(You can scroll down to my previous post for more insights into these points.)
In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus makes what’s called a “lesser to greater” argument. He reminds us that no father would give his son a snake if he asked for a fish or a scorpion if he asked for an egg. “If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:31).
Can you imagine this situation? A child earnestly asks their parent for wisdom about an important decision and commits to do whatever the parent recommends, but the parent either fails to answer or intentionally misleads the child. That would never happen. So, why would you think your loving heavenly Father would do that?
Last time, I promised to offer five reasons why second-guessing decisions made according to this approach – even if things subsequently go terribly wrong – is a bad idea. Here they are:
Second-guessing dishonors God – It shows you don’t really trust that he acted like the good parent, and he failed to lead you down the right road.
You are not at the end point – Even if you face negative circumstances today, the story may not be over. Things might look grim now, but they could improve or even do a complete 180 in the future.
Second-guessing overlooks the “God Factor” – Even though we want important decisions to result in smooth sailing down the road, God may be using the unfortunate developments to help you grow in new ways. Your character and your ability to trust God are more important to him than your circumstances are.
You are probably comparing your current situation against an idealized version of the alternatives – If your college freshman roommate turns out to be nightmare, you might wish you had accepted the offer from that other school. But how do you know that things would have been any better there? Maybe your roommate there would have been even worse, or maybe you would have had some terrible professors.
Second-guessing is useless – You can’t unscramble an egg or un-ring a bell. Lamenting over your decision will only distract you from picking up the pieces and moving forward.
A former church where I was an elder encountered rough waters that resulted from a complicated decision, they had made a few years previously. Due to unforeseen circumstances beyond anyone’s control, they were having to regroup and consider their next step. Because the original direction was determined by consensus rather than unanimity, one of the pastors began questioning whether we should have followed the “minority report” recommendation.
I respectfully but strongly challenged that thought. About twenty godly people had prayerfully followed a lengthy process and considered every possible angle. Had we known then what we knew now, we might have gone a different way. But of course we didn’t know. I can’t believe that nearly two dozen godly people somehow missed God’s will after they did their homework and repeatedly prayed for wisdom. That would be assuming that God had given us a scorpion instead of an egg.
The next time you face unanticipated headwinds flowing from an important decision made according to the principles outlined above, do this:
Remind yourself that you did everything right
Seek God’s direction for the next step
Learn any appropriate lessons for future decisions
Above all, keep trusting God and remain confident that he will continue to lead you down the right path