Questions — Blog — Glenn E. Pearson

My last post on three power aspects of questions prompted some great thoughts which I’d like to pass along.

As a reminder, the three strengths of questions I highlighted are:

Their ability to invite clarification without alienating others: “I might have misunderstood your point. Are you saying . . . ?”
Their ability to draw others in and give them a sense of ownership: After throwing out an idea, asking, “What do you think of that? Is it a good idea?”
Their ability to offer a suggestion in a low-key way by inviting the other person to consider the issue from a different angle: “What do you think would happened if . . . .?”

You can scroll down to my previous post, dated December 10, for fuller explanations of these concepts.

After reading my last post, my good friend Chris Ebert offered this great insight:

“Making statements shows how much you know. Asking questions shows how much you care.”

I love that! A few days later, Chris texted this follow-up message:

“I had an incredible discussion with a 22-year-old at the swimming pool yesterday. He . . . is so lost in his direction in life. He’s got 30 directions in which he wants to go, and I implemented the ‘question first and not the statement first’ approach, and it was beautiful! It is so unnatural for me to ask questions and not make statements.”

In my reply to Chris, I noted that asking questions IS a bit of a shift, but it’s well worth it.

Another old friend, Twinky (yes, that’s what she goes by) Satterthwaite pointed out the importance of asking questions in a humble and non-condescending way. Of course, she’s absolutely right. Since the goal to is further a two-way conversation, you should be completely respectful. Furthermore, asking probing follow-up questions (e.g., “Why do you think he reacted that way?”) encourages the other person to think about the issue, perhaps in a new way.

In my last post, I mentioned two advantages of the “What do you think would happen if . . .” approach:

Making a suggestion via a question is more gentle than just blurting out advice
It helps you not come across as a know-it-all

After my post, I thought of a third advantage:

Not every one of my ideas is brilliant, and if I throw out a stupid suggestion, my credibility could suffer. Posing the suggestion as a question minimizes that risk.

I finished the last post by pointing out that Jesus himself regularly taught by asking questions. Perhaps the most significant one he posed relates to his identity. After asking his disciples who the crowds thought he was, he asked them, “Who do you say I am?” Peter responded, “You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God.” Jesus was pleased!

His question to the disciples is especially appropriate as we come off the Christmas season. Jesus was indeed Emmanuel, God with us, and he assumed on himself the penalty for our sins when he died on the cross. And the fact that he come back to life confirmed that he indeed is God in human form.

Let me end by asking you the same question Jesus asked of his disciples: Who do you say he is?