It Takes Time
After nine great years on staff with Cru, I embarked on a rewarding career as a senior healthcare executive. My longest stint was as Executive Vice President at Georgia Hospital Association (GHA). I loved working there and feel that over my 19+ years, I made many significant contributions to the hospital industry, both locally and even nationally, and to the people of Georgia.
But one day back in 2014, my boss called me into his office and told me we were in reorganization mode and my job was to be eliminated. I was stunned! He made sure I understood that this was strictly a financial streamlining process and was not performance related.
I must say, GHA handled my exit extremely well:
I had three months’ advance notice of the change
They offered a very generous severance package They threw an elaborate farewell party to honor me
They even assembled a book containing appreciation letters from dozens of hospital presidents and other senior executives from all around Georgia
So, they couldn’t have treated me more kindly or handled things better.
Despite all this, it was a crushing blow. No matter how you couched it, the bottom line was they no longer needed me. My biggest fear was that people might assume either I was incompetent or that I had done something wrong. The prolonged and generous farewell process demonstrated that wasn’t the case. So, my ego was preserved.
After leaving GHA, I spent several years advising startup healthcare technology companies with their strategies for successfully approaching the hospital market. I even wrote a book that identifies 84 pitfalls entrepreneurs and developers should avoid when selling to healthcare organizations. So, there was life after GHA.
Despite the gracious exit process and my subsequent career opportunity, my departure was painful to the point that reliving my last few months at GHA frequently invaded my dreams. In those dreams, I felt like the village idiot since everyone knew I was on the way out. Although the circumstances and details of my dreams varied, the common denominator was my feeling of embarrassment and rejection.
Although these dreams are less frequent, I still occasionally have them, fully nine years after my departure. But I’m happy to report that lately there has been a positive change in my dreams. My feelings of rejection have been replaced by the affirming comments from my former colleagues about how much they valued my contributions and regretted my departure.
Why am I telling you this? To illustrate that, since we are emotional beings, traumatic events can have a lasting impact that can take years to overcome. As a committed Christian, I know that God is absolutely sovereign over all of life, knows what he’s doing, and loves me completely. But this doesn’t negate the fact that many things in life – such as me losing my job - are hurtful.
Some Christians say that admitting you are struggling emotionally signals to others that Jesus hasn’t met all your needs. And that’s insulting to God.
I couldn’t disagree more. We should not wallow in our negative feelings, but neither should we deny that our pain is real. Instead, we should invite Jesus into it and ask him to help us handle it. He wants us to get beyond the circumstance, but we must acknowledge that this can take time. Perhaps years. Perhaps never.
My job loss is relatively minor compared to what others have suffered: the death of a child, the suicide of a family member, an ugly divorce, a life-changing disease, the aftermath of an abortion, betrayal by a dear friend, or any number of other tragedies.
Here is what I recommend in these circumstances:
Acknowledge how painful your situation is
If you know Jesus, recognize that he hasn’t abandoned you and still loves you
Pray for his grace and for special insights concerning how to move forward
Find a confidante who can help carry your burden
Consider if professional counseling would be helpful
And finally, give yourself all the time you need to adjust to the new reality, remembering that God will sustain you – if you turn to him.